Now that I have been in New York City for a month, I feel like a local, whatever that means. I can walk up and down Fifth Avenue and not think of the fancy, large shops in a grandeur manner, but rather as just some shops that have way too many products to shop for in one visit. (Moment of silence for the fact that I can walk on Fifth Avenue basically whenever I want.) I can get on the metro and use whichever train to get to my destination without plugging the address into a map. I can do hot yoga in the morning and chill in the evening, without feeling like I’m missing out on something. I feel comfortable, which in a sense makes me anxious because DukeEngage is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable and challenge you. The program itself is challenging by nature because we discuss topics such as the relationship between sexual orientation and capitalism, sexual terrorism, reproductive rights, and our greatest weaknesses. We are challenged to grasp the facts and take a stance. We are pushed to figure out the type of person we want to be in the world with all of this information. We are encouraged to see the society as a whole and its implications along with the individual and its implications. Lately, I have heard from other Moxies that it has been draining to do this on a daily basis, since we discuss these issues in our free time too. However, this also hasn’t made me incredibly uncomfortable or drained. I have been been discussing systematic and institutionalized oppression since I was young; I have been questioning how I as an individual fit into and challenge that system and institution since I was young; I have been forming my stance on a lot of these issues since I was young.  I had the opportunity to grow up in a household where we talked about all of these things. My mother never left anything up in the air and she told me the way the world worked; I had at least two things working against me, I was brown and a woman. However unfair that was, it just meant that I had to work ten times as harder to measure up and be ten times better than my peers while never forgetting who and what got me there.

On a daily basis, I think about my position in the world and how I can use that to succeed and help others succeed. I think about how my education of the systems and institutions we live in will inform my actions to break down the racist and sexist (among other things) world and culture we interact with. In a way, I’m trying to refine my thoughts and actions more so than learning about how to think and act about certain things. It is a different type of challenge, one that doesn’t drain me, but that drives me. It makes me more comfortable to be in an environment that challenges me to do so because this program is dedicated to making us more informed and critical about the world around us. Since I have been more exposed to this information for whatever reason that may be, I have felt like a veteran participating in certain discussions. I have already had to time to form an opinion and understand a theory; I have already had an experience that exemplifies certain topics; I have already done extensive research on systematic oppression. I have the ability to be articulate on certain topics because I have had time to digest and think about them.

On the other hand, I am able to better frame the way that I talk about certain things because of the discussions I have with other Moxies. I am able to learn about a different way of approaching the issues because other Moxies have grown up with different experiences. I am learning a lot from everyone else on the program because everyone thinks and processes in different ways that inform the way they discuss certain issues. I have decided that I want to focus on not just refining my thoughts and actions, but on the application of those thoughts and actions. I want to focus on the professional track on implementing those informed thoughts and actions. I am able to have firsthand experience as a community organizer, I am going to meet with a social activist that makes a living doing what they love, and I am going to meet with a human rights lawyer. I want to get a better sense of the paths that are possible in the future that will include my passions in the actual work I do. However, lately it seems like there are more options that I can see myself doing, which is just making the future foggier and foggier. Even though I have been able to consider myself a veteran in an exposure and academic sense (although I am nowhere near completely educated about any topic because I am 20 years old and there’s not enough time in the world), I sure have no idea what the future holds and I am still trying to figure out how my professional life can exist in a way that has been informed by my academic pursuits. 

Sunday: July 5, 2015 – The Foodiest City In The Country

 
Max Brenner (A Chocolate Bar) for brunch was one of the best decisions we’ve made thus far. 

‘Drink Me’ Ha! You don’t have to tell me twice 🙂

 Sugar biscuits dipped in chocolate and waffle sandwiches. Need I say more?

Monday: July 6, 2015 – Monday’s are the worst

Cute shoes and bubble tea make Mondays slightly more bearable.

A moment of silence for all the dropped food in this world. 

This Just In: Mondays don’t seem to affect April’s boundless energy level!

Tuesday: July 7, 2015 – Snapchat Tuesday

In other news, I’m afraid of my GGE Moxie Colleague…

Such beauty and elegance from these two. 

Wednesday: July 8, 2015 – Exciting Work Days

This is how I come up with curriculum. I swear it’s real work. 

Welcome Abby, prepare yourself… The Moxie’s spam photos are coming!!!

Thursday: July 9, 2015 – The Families Back in Town!

 Thanks Dad for giving us a seminar on Emergency Allergy Response!

 
My little baby sister is here finally!/Also we ate incredible food at Da Andrea’s Ristorante. 

Friday: July 10, 2015  – Let the Party Begin!

  Julia and April head out after work to our NWDA Seminar. 

Visiting the Tenement Museum/Lauren likes the free fans they gave us. 

Lincoln Center Festival 

 We watched the National Ballet of China dance The Peony Pavilion play.

Saturday: July 11, 2015 – American History Lessons

Getting to visit Lady Liberty was such an awesome experience!

Why hello there Jersey and Manhattan.              On our way to Ellis Island!

 Lauren finds time to tan in the most random places. 

I love museums.

Their clean surfaces, quiet patrons, elegant displays, and informative exhibits make me happy. Living in New York–a city known for its “museum mile”–has only intensified my musemophile tendencies.

Last week, I visited the American Museum of Natural History. I spent my first hour there in pure bliss. The African Mammals, Global Disease, and Cosmic Pathway displays kept my too-easily-bored mind engaged. Seriously–I could feel myself getting smarter.

Then I entered the “Hall of African Peoples” exhibit.

An anthropological journey through the lifestyles and customs of African people, the exhibit explores Africa’s cultural heritage from Ancient Egypt to modern times. I approached the first display–the evolution of human tools–in my usual fashion: an initial, brief glance over the entire display, next, a focus on the artifact being highlighted, then a close reading of artifacts’s accompanying panel.

Immediately, I felt bothered by how the authors of the exhibit described the people who used the tools. They referred solely to a masculine actor. “Man” created stone tools starting 2.5 million years ago, “Man” developed hand axes in the lower paleolithic era, and “Man” designed spears around 300,000 years ago.

So, what’s wrong with this exhibit? After all, wasn’t “Man” the one who made tools in order to hunt, and provide for his pre-historic dependents?

Actually, he wasn’t.

The idea that the male “breadwinner” has existed throughout time is a myth. After surveying two hundred hunter/gatherer cultures in Oceania, Asia, Africa, and the Americas, anthropologists have determined that women’s gathering of food stuffs sustained pre-historic tribes. Hunting by men provided twenty percent of a tribe’s nourishment; women produced eighty percent of the total food consumed. Further analysis of ancient people’s teeth indicates that grains, nuts, and fruits–foods obtained through gathering, not hunting–served as their main food sources.

In the past two centuries, anthropologists have focused on “Man” as the inventor of tools to use on the hunt (see: Natural History Museum display). Now, several scholars credit women with inventions they had formerly attributed to men. In fact, many say that hunting developed after gathering, meaning that women invented the earliest tools (i.e. bones, stones, lengths of wood for digging up roots).

Prehistoric women enjoyed equality with men, likely because of their economic contributions. Women’s parity only diminished as agriculture developed, and communities made the transition to patriarchal societies. The ideal of the male “breadwinner” did not exist until the late nineteenth century when male artisans in England–who lost their jobs to women–used the notion as a justification for confining women to the home. They claimed that society would fall apart if the moral pillars of families, women, left the home to work.

If history clearly shows us that women were as much the “breadwinners” as men in prehistoric societies, why do we continue to live with the legacy of the male “breadwinner”?

Here’s a better question: Who controls information and how it is distributed to the masses? Who has a monopoly on knowledge?

Men constitute 70% of full time faculty in degree-granting post secondary education institutions in the US. In 27 states, males make up the majority of public high school principals–in Kansas, by greater than 40%. 19 out of 33 senior officials in the U.S. Department of Education are men.

These statistics show that men control knowledge. The “man the hunter,” man the “inventor of tools,” and the inescapable male  “breadwinner” ideals, give men privileged access to employment, higher salaries, and status in organizational hierarchies.

Why would anyone sacrifice privilege for the sake of historical accuracy, and more importantly, gender equity?

To be fair, women comprise 44% of the museum labor force. Still, we have to think about where those women went to school, who their principals were, what professors they had. Likely, their education taught them to internalize the gender roles that many scholars have transferred to prehistoric people. Perhaps those women see nothing wrong with the Natural History Museum’s  “Hall of African Peoples” exhibit.

Eradicating gender inequality begins with education. We must see injustice before we can address it. 

Universities need more full-time female faculty members. The Department of Education needs more women senior officials.Kansas needs more female principals. 

Case and point: 

Furthermore, transgender education providers are so few that researchers do not even include them in most demographic analyses of school boards and college professors. How might history look if the most marginalized had a seat at the table?

As a society, we must change a culture. We have to shift away from only men controlling knowledge. It is time for a joint sharing of information and interpretation between genders.

While I have been trying my best to keep my head down and act like I know what I’m doing in this city, I went on the ultimate touristy excursion last week to the Empire State Building. I must say, the $32 I paid to get to the 86th floor was definitely worth it. The view was nothing short of incredible–each side of the outdoor observatory deck offered a different perspective on the wondrous and vast New York City.

From my view about 1,000 feet up in the air, I gazed in awe at the thousands of buildings and millions of lights. The tall skyscrapers of course jumped out at me and were easy to focus on; the people and cars were tiny specks that quickly disappeared into the night.

Please bear with me as I extrapolate this experience to come up with a forced metaphor. A special shout out to Abby for encouraging my creativity.

Let’s relate this to capitalist patriarchy. The perspective from the observatory deck of the Empire State Building was a zoomed out view of the entire system. Everything seems very impressive and overwhelming. It looks like money and power. Of course, there are problems with this system, but you can’t pinpoint them from so far away. You cannot see what’s happening on an individual level and how what’s happening is contributing to the system. It’s very easy to look at the big picture, recognize that it is very clearly functioning (because we would not have such an incredible view of capital America) and to keep moving. Why fix something that isn’t broken? Thus, these issues continue to infiltrate society.

I had the opportunity to meet up with a friend the other day. I visited her in Central Park in the Upper West side where she was born and raised. Now that I have been in New York for a month, I had several questions for her regarding her experience growing up here. I asked her when she first experienced street harassment. She said she was catcalled starting at a very young age and it didn’t make much sense to her. I then asked her how she handled this, and she said she just shrugged it off and always ignored it. She even said it was never really a big deal, although it happened frequently. My friend also told me never to respond to street harassment because it could result in violence.

I didn’t know how to respond to this. I’ve found it difficult to speak to people in my life about the work I’ve been doing because most are not as engrossed in the feminist and structural issues we have been discussing for the past few weeks. Do I go on a rant about why street harassment is a form of sexual harassment and how this perpetuates rape culture in our society? If you haven’t met me, rants aren’t really my style. Do I explain how street harassment is a way men control us? To most, I would probably sound like a crazy feminist.

In this specific situation, I simply told my friend about the work I’ve been doing at Hollaback! and how our organization hopes to end street harassment. I briefly told her about our discussions about sexual terrorism and how when we step out on the street, we have an expectation that no one will bother us. I said you can respond to street harassment if you feel so inclined, as long as you feel safe in the particular situation.

My friend found some validity in what I was saying and the conversation continued. However, I realized that her trivial mentality with regards to street harassment is one that I admittedly had just a few years ago. I didn’t understand how the man on the street telling me I’m sexy perpetuates our patriarchical society.

Every day that I walk around the city, or even campus, I am witnessing examples of injustice, whether it be harassment on a subway platform or discrimination in a classroom. As I become more aware of these issues, I am able to recognize them more and more and realize why they are a problem. In my everyday life, I am zoomed in on the sexism I experience and other forms of discrimination I witness. To fully understand how these examples are microcosms of what’s actually going on in society at large, I have realized that I need zoom out. I must (metaphorically, of course) head to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building. I need to take what I have experienced at ground level with me to connect the different vantage points. While it feels like such a long way down, it’s just a quick elevator ride up. You’ll see it too–just don’t let the millions of lights blind you.

Ladies and gentlemen we have reached the halfway point!!! This summer has been so amazing it’s weird to imagine that this program is already half over. As I was contemplating blog topics I noticed that I kept thinking about the various realizations that I had over the past four weeks and felt I should share. So as advice for future Moxies and for my current Moxies, here are the top ten things you should never do while on the Moxie Program as told by a Moxie that has done all of these things.

1. Come to love your other fellow Moxies…

Look, you’ve only got eight weeks with these ladies. Yes, you may be spending every waking moment with them but resist the urge to come to love them! It will only end in heartbreak. More likely than not you’re all different ages and majors. This is a recipe for disaster. Honestly you’ll probably never see them on campus after this summer and if you have rising juniors in the group most likely at least one will be abroad in the fall (looking at you April)! Creating a loving and meaningful relationship with these girls is like being lactose intolerant your entire life and then discovering the ridiculous amazingness of chocolate and all things dairy. IT’S A MISTAKE YOU WILL REGRET. Save yourself some pain and just treat them like robots. My advice would be to only communicate when absolutely necessary and limit your sentence lengths to three words.

2. Realize you love New York City…

New York may be one of the most visited cities in the US but that does not mean you need to figure out why! Ever heard of ignorance is bliss? That applies here. You do not need to know why NYC is incredible. Really. More likely than not you are not going to be able to live in NYC and simultaneously be at Duke campus so you’ll just spend the rest of your scholastic year wishing 9^th street near East Campus was 5^th Avenue near Hu Kitchen, Tiffany & Co, and the Museum of Sex. For those of you thinking “why not just transfer universities?” shame on you for even considering that. Duke is home. So nah. You’ll have to deal with a long-distance relationship with The Big Apple.

3. Discover amazing food places here…

If you know me well you would know that eating happens to be one of my favorite things to do. There are so many incredible food places here. You could probably go to a different eatery for every single meal for the rest of your life and still not hit all the amazing eateries in NYC. Its like they want you to fail… Better to only eat from those random food trucks and pretend like you aren’t living in one of the best places to eat in the country.

4. Visit a museum…

Enrichment activities are important because they expands your horizons and make you more knowledgeable. However, once you visit one museum you will come to the same realization that I did: museums in NYC are incredible sources of enlightenment, knowledge, and history. You will suddenly develop this burning desire to visit all the museums that NYC has to offer (I see you Abby). Now let me tell you, its not going to happen. There are 83 museums total in all of NYC. You’ll need more than eight weeks to get the job done.

5. Be enlightened about the patriarchy…

Once you learn what patriarchy actually means be prepared for the anger. To me I view the patriarchy as a system where we gave newborn baby boys a guaranteed gold bar while simultaneously gave newborn baby girls lottery tickets. But here’s the catch! Those lottery tickets are even less likely to be winners if you are a person of color, part of the LGBTQ community, part of a religion that is not Christian or Catholic, or if you are somehow in any shape or form not conforming to the societal standard! Women lose in the game of life before even being given a chance to play.

6. Realize how your entire childhood was plagued with all kinds of oppressions…

You can never take back this moment of realization. Once the wool is pulled off you can’t go back and, it sucks. Of course I prefer an existence where I know and understand how things like racism, sexism, and ageism affect me but that does not take away from the fact that this new understanding ends up tainting some of fond childhood memories you may have. Like finally realizing why your teachers were so shocked that you a young minority woman was doing really well in a math class instead of the stereotypical English class.

7. Become educated about the injustices of the world…

There. Are. So. Many. The hard part is coming to terms with the idea that coming on this DukeEngage program does not automatically turn you into Wonder Woman and allows you to defeat all the injustices that plague the world. You won’t all of a sudden attain the ability to educate all men on the patriarchy, stop those street harassers, and prevent any sort of domestic violence to occur. I’ve had to come to terms with being able to be happy with the little successes and understand that it’s the small things us interns do that help support the amazing work these NGOs are doing.

8. Become addicted to running…

Before this summer, I hated running. I have a long history of getting hurt while running but, my roommates April and Abby adore running. They get up every single day and run. I would run… But only for maybe ten minutes and just enough to be able to pat myself on the back for being “healthy” that day. These girls run more than 3 miles sometimes! So I tried running for real while here and now I love it. The only problem is that I am super attached to running along the Harbor or the High Line and neither of those is located near Duke campus. I’m going to have to find a new favorite setting to run in. I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world. (This one’s not that bad. But everyone should run along the Harbor or the High Line at least once while you’re here. It’s beautiful!).

9. Start to love trying new things…

After trying so many new things and eating so many new foods, I have officially gotten over my initial aversion to trying new things. I always struggled to get past that initial hesitation to try new things and now I find myself jumping in whole-heartedly. But now I think I’ve developed an addiction to trying new things because they are so readily available in this city. How am I going to satisfy this craving in Durham!? Maybe I’ll just eat all the random, weird food that proliferates the Whole Foods’ shelves…

10. Love being a completely independent woman…

Now, now ladies… If you are coming into this program you can be feminist but, let’s not get carried away and start thinking that on top of being feminist we are also going to enjoy being independent! That’s crazy talk! What would our society do with you after that? You would no longer be conforming to the ideology that supports the patriarchy. I say, THIS IS HERESY! But honestly, New York City forces you to be incredibly independent. If you did not feel self-sufficient before, you definitely will after this summer!

If you just heed these warnings I’m sure you Moxies will leave this program unscathed without any battle wounds from fighting your way to understanding. Good luck!

Best wishes,

Raissa

Sunday: June 28, 2015 – The Pride Parade 

 
The inside of St. Patrick’s Cathedral/A group of Catholics that support LGBTQ rights.  

Julia is excited about her birthday.

   
Thank you, Sanctuary for Families, for allowing us to be apart of this day with you!

Monday: June 29, 2015 – Moxies Are Always Focused At Work

Dance parties are the best way to relieve stress. 

Tuesday: June 30, 2015 – Lunch On the Rooftop

Eating lunch on the roof of the YWCA is only one perk of working at GGE or Hollaback!

Wednesday: July 1, 2015 – Moxies Go Sightseeing

Shots taken on the New York City High Line.

Julia and Carina enjoy the Empire State Building late at night. 

Thursday: July 2, 2015 –  Walk Down Wall Street

 The coffee from this cafe was amazing! 

Our group discussion was held near the Staten Island Ferry this week. 

Friday: July 3, 2015  – Negotiations, The Met, and M&M World 🙂

Our Negotiation Workshop made us feel empowered and ready to tackle any negotiations we may encounter!

The Met’s China: Through The Looking Glass Exhibition almost had me in tears at the beauty of the clothing designs.

 
What better way than to end the night with M&M World?! (I may have eaten half of my bag on the subway home…)

Saturday: July 4, 2015 – Shopping and more museum outings 

Shout-out to Ada describing men’s negotiating habits hahaha!

This museum’s exhibits were interactive. Such fun. 

We can see ourselves in every direction. #UltimateSelfieSpot.

Brace yourselves, folks. This one is going to be long.

I’ve known for the last few days that my blog tonight was going to be about sexual harassment. My current project at work is addressing the issue at a NYC high school, and we experience it plenty on the city streets, so it seemed to be appropriate.

Then, about an hour ago, I experienced the worst harassment since I’ve been in the Big Apple, and I’m practically exploding with angst, anger, frustration, and (sadly) fear.

It’s the fear that I’m most surprised about. It’s the fear that’s most troubling – I’ve felt annoyed, irritated, inconvenienced before – but never scared, until just now.

I was sitting in Union Square Park, trying to enjoy a nice night while getting some Moxie readings done. It was about 11 PM, but the park was still bustling with people. Guys on skateboards, couples sneaking in kisses, groups of friends laughing loudly, and solitary individuals like myself listening to music. It was a lively place to be, and I didn’t feel unsafe in the slightest.

A man, maybe around 27 or 28 years old, came and sat down a couple of feet away from me on the steps. I had looked up when he approached me, which apparently was an invitation for him to make me pull out my headphones and engage in conversation. “Is that your real hair, or are those extensions?” he asked me, pointing to my auburn tips with the same finger he’d used to pantomime to get my attention in the first place. I told him they were real, and tried to put my headphones back in and get back to my reading, but he kept talking to me. First, he brought up Elvis Presley (whose natural hair was blonde, apparently. Who knew?), asked for advice on giving a gift to his friend’s new girlfriend, and then finally, asked me if I was old enough to smoke. At this point, I had gone from vaguely annoyed, to uncomfortable, to actually worried. When I looked down at my phone to check a  text from my mom, asking if I was home, he snidely commented, “Wow, can’t check your messages and listen to me at the same time, can you?” I found myself apologizing – not because I was in the wrong, but because I didn’t want to upset him. I deflected the question about my age, and joked that I was young enough for my parents to still check up on what time I’d make it home. When I refused to give him my number but politely told him to have a nice night, he snapped at me and said I shouldn’t tell him what to do. I’d already stood up and grabbed my stuff at this point, and felt brave enough to retort, “Alright, it’s your choice. Nice meeting you,” to which “Have a nice night!” was his final response – whether he meant it sincerely or sarcastically, I was too frazzled to register.

The whole interaction lasted all of 5 minutes, but managed to ruin my evening. I walked home nervous and paranoid, jumping at every human being who came up behind me because I was scared he had followed me. When I called my mom and told her about the incident, she pleaded with me to stop going out at night so I could avoid these kinds of scary situations. There are few things I love more than New York City in the evening with its millions of lights and streets teeming with people, but now I’m compelled to listen to her, sacrificing one of my greatest pleasures just in order to maintain my own safety.

Now, let me tell you what’s wrong with this situation:

EVERYTHING.

• This man walked up and started talking to me when I was reading an essay and had headphones in my ears. I showed no interest in engaging with him, and yet he demanded my attention. What I wanted – to read, and to listen to my music – was irrelevant. Would he have walked up to a man in my posture and tried to pull him away from what he was doing? Doubtful. When I got distracted, he was offended – despite the fact that he interrupted me in the first place, I’m now obligated to focus on him. As a young woman, I’m hardly capable of making my own decisions, right?? It’s what he thinks I should be doing – talking to him – that takes precedence over my own preferences or needs.
• He asked me if I was old enough to smoke. Whether this was a sly way to gauge if I was legal, or if he was offering me a smoke, I can’t be sure, but it’s inappropriate regardless. I was obviously hovering around the adult line – whether I was above it or below shouldn’t matter. 18 isn’t some magic age at which females become sexual creatures, ready for men to prey on. I’m not saying it’s in any way okay for an adult to pursue a minor – but it’s not okay to pursue an adult woman either, if she’s obviously unwilling and uninterested.
  

  I might look a little older than her, but still

• When I rejected his advances, he got angry. Went from cheerful and pleasant to rude and bitter in seconds, as soon as I made it clear I wouldn’t play along. This isn’t because he’s actually sad at a potential missed connection here – he hardly knows me – but because I hurt his ego. Sexual harassment, as I’ve been researching at GGE, isn’t ever about the woman. It’s about overt displays of masculinity, it’s about showing off your manliness, and it’s about feeling powerful. My rejection skewed that power dynamic, and he wasn’t happy about it. Yelling at me for wishing him a good night is the perfect illustration: even in niceties, I can’t have any sort of power or control over him.
  

  Masculinity is so fragile

• My mom (understandably) wishes I wouldn’t go out by myself in the evening, because I’m likely to get harassed. I’d gotten cat-called a couple of times tonight before this incident, but that’s so routine, it hardly felt worth stressing about. The other night, I spent almost 40 minutes walking home from Chelsea around 10 PM, and spent the entire time on the phone with my parents, which served as a great strategy to keep men from hollering at me – I got the occasional whistle or up-down, but apparently being occupied by somebody else is a valid reason to be left alone. That night, I walked down a couple of streets that were mostly empty, and after tonight, I feel so incredibly lucky to have been incident free, because if a man had decided to come after me then, I really don’t know what I would have done. Being surrounded by people didn’t keep me from being bothered, but it kept my physical body safe, and kept the situation from escalating. As much as I adore taking leisurely nighttime walks, I’m not so sure I can keep doing it – despite the fact that this is just as much my space as anybody else’s, the public sphere (especially at night) is not made for young women to enjoy. We either stay inside, or we pay the price of unwanted attention.

The scariest part is that I doubt that man saw any of that as harassment. He was simply trying to get my number, what’s the harm in that? Inviting yourself into my space and then getting angry when I don’t embrace your presence is just as bad, if not worse, than hollering at me from an alleyway. He thinks he’s just a “good guy” who unfairly got rejected by me for absolutely no reason (as if my lack of interest requires justification). Truth be told, he was friendly (even charming) at the beginning, so he’s probably a very “good guy” in the eyes of his friends and family too. Guys who harass women aren’t evil guys with 0 redeeming qualities. They’re not total creeps whose sole intentions are to make women as scared and uncomfortable as possible. They’re just normal guys who mistakenly think that “being a man” means women owe them something – sexual pleasure, affection, attention, a date, or their number – simply because they wanted it.

Sexual harassment may not seem like a “big deal” – it’s just flirting, it’s casual, it’s part of every day life, it’s just boys being boys, it’s a host of excuses that point to the same conclusion – that women must simply accept that harassment is part of their lot in life, because why should men stop? Simply because women ask them to? Please. We don’t know what we’re talking about. We’re hysterical. We’re irrational. We’re overreacting. We’re probably at fault.

I didn’t get harassed because of what I was wearing, or where I was, or what I was doing – it wasn’t about me. It was about that man, and his assertion of control onto me. He wanted to flirt with me, and whether or not I was interested was irrelevant. The common theme in every issue here is entitlement. Entitlement to my space, to my attention, to my phone number, to my acceptance, to my body. This is a world in which men are taught to express their masculinity by conquering females. When women reject that notion, and they reject the men who attempt to enforce that notion, we are met with anger and violence. I’m blessed to have never been subjected to physical violence for my femininity, but this is purely a matter of luck. Many women are not so fortunate. A culture that disempowers women (and oversexualizes our bodies while simultaneously judging us for our sexual choices) is going to lead to harassment, and a culture that accepts harassment is never going to stop sexual assaults, and is never going to end rape. We need be allowed to own our bodies. We are entitled to our own damn space.