Hey there,

Come walk this through with me as I tell you about the impact of my cohort and I’s recent visit to the CHOICES Women’s Center in Queens, New York. It was a transformative experience in the sense that I got to confront my own cultural upbringing, grapple with the topic of abortion, and reaffirm my commitment to women’s autonomy and reproductive rights.

Growing up in Saudi Arabia and living in Ethiopia, as I tell you every week, I was no stranger to the taboos and legal restrictions surrounding abortion. The subject was shrouded in silence, and access to safe reproductive healthcare was severely limited, if not illegal, due to cultural and religious norms. As I entered CHOICES, I carried with me the weight of these societal norms, which had been deeply ingrained in my understanding of women’s bodies and choices for a long time.

Meeting Merle Hoffman, the founder of the CHOICES Women’s Center, was awe-inspiring. Listening to her life experiences and her unwavering commitment to providing a comprehensive and safe space for women seeking reproductive healthcare left a lasting impression on me. It was empowering to be in the presence of someone who had dedicated her life to advocating for women’s rights, especially in the face of the polarization surrounding abortion in the United States.

Before our visit, I had the opportunity to discuss the articles “Your Body, My Choice” by Dayna Tortorici and “The 13th Amendment Case for a Right to Abortion” by Liz Anderson with my cohort. These readings provided a fresh perspective on the historical and legal context surrounding abortion rights, challenging what is supposed to be the “traditional” narrative.

As I delved into the essay by Liz Anderson, I was struck by the connections drawn between the 13th Amendment and abortion rights. The historical understanding of slavery, as elaborated by Tucker, made me understand the broader implications of the 13th Amendment, which bans not only chattel slavery but also “the badges and incidents of slavery.” This includes any treatment that would mark someone as slave-like, which put into context how the civil disabilities faced by women in the 19th century due happened to the law of coverture.

Through this lens, I began to see the parallels between the struggles faced by enslaved Black women and the civil slavery endured by married women. Recognizing that abortion bans were rooted in the assumption that women lacked equal rights to their bodies and their choices, I understood that the fight for abortion rights is intricately linked to the fight against systemic injustice.

The CHOICES Women’s Center visit, coupled with these readings, reinforced my belief in the significance of individual autonomy and the right to make choices about one’s body without judgment or interference. It was clear to me that upholding reproductive rights is not just about protecting legal access to abortion but also about dismantling the deeply ingrained norms and biases that limit women’s freedom and agency. While I didn’t have a sudden life-changing epiphany, being in the presence of such fierce advocates reaffirmed my commitment to championing women’s rights. It’s not about becoming a completely different person overnight, but rather taking small steps to challenge the status quo and empower women in my own community.

CHOICES showed me that being a part of a movement doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about showing up, being empathetic, and amplifying the voices of those who need it most. Even working the front desk of such a center sends a message. It shows a commitment to taking action and playing a part in fostering a world where women can make their own choices without judgment or fear. Any journey towards change won’t be instantaneous or without obstacles. It requires constant self-reflection and an ongoing commitment to advocate for women’s rights, especially for those who are marginalized and face the greatest challenges in accessing healthcare.

For me, this experience has ignited a fire within, urging me to actively challenge cultural norms and support organizations like CHOICES Women’s Center in college. As I wrap up this reflection, I hope it encourages you to reflect on your own beliefs, actions, and the ways in which you can contribute to a more inclusive and equitable world. Let us continue this journey together, advocating for the rights and autonomy of all individuals, regardless of their gender or cultural background.

Hello again! Today, I want to invite you guys in joining me on a profound journey of introspection as we delve into the intricate interplay between gender norms, cultural expectations, and personal growth. Inspired by two thought-provoking articles assigned to my cohort and I, we have Anitta Harris’ “The ‘Can-Do’ Girl Versus the ‘At-Risk’ Girl” and Iris Marion Young’s “Throwing Like a Girl: A Phenomenology of Feminine Body Comportment, Motility, and Spatiality”. I guess today’s blog will serve as my deeper understanding of the complexities inherent in challenging and navigating gender norms?

Being born and raised in Saudi Arabia and later growing up in Ethiopia, I was acutely aware of the ways in which societal expectations influenced my movements, interactions, and overall sense of self. I observed how subtle cues and norms shaped my behavior, from the way I walked, sat, and occupied physical spaces. Reflecting on my time in these cultural contexts, I recognized that societal expectations molded my movements by prescribing a specific set of behaviors deemed appropriate for a woman in each one. These expectations, although weren’t physically restricting me from doing otherwise, limited my freedom of expression and constrained the full potential of my embodied experiences. As Young references in her piece, society almost reduces women’s condition simply to unintelligibility by “explaining” as an appeal to some natural and ahistorical feminine essence. Young was not making universal claims about how all men and women experience and act in the world, but what is typical of women in a tightly defined historical and cultural situation.

Confronting these norms and navigating the complex interplay between cultural expectations and my own sense of self required deep introspection and critical questioning. I embarked on a personal journey of self-discovery, challenging societal notions, and seeking to reconcile my authentic identity with the expectations imposed upon me. It was not a linear process, but rather an ongoing exploration of who I am and who I aspire to be. This journey involved questioning the messages I had internalized, taking tiny steps to unravel layers of conditioning, and taking notes to redefine my own values and beliefs in the face of societal pressure in the future.

The articles acted as catalysts, igniting a desire within me to cultivate a sense of empowerment rooted in authenticity. They provided language and concepts that clarified my thoughts and emotions, deepening my commitment to challenge societal expectations however they may present themselves to me. By getting to read Harris and Young’s pieces, I gained insight into the ways in which gender norms perpetuate inequality and limit individual potential. While it is easy to point out instances of clear-cut inequality, I was made to think about the different and less obvious restrictions on the lives of young women and girls being just as insidious. For example, with the whole idea of “delay motherhood until you have reached full success as a woman” but then STILL being told that you haven’t reached full success until you have bore children for your husband. It reinforced my belief in the limitless capacity of each individual to shape their own life journey, regardless of societal constraints. This realization led me to make sure I am always fostering a space where everyone’s experiences and perspectives will be valued.

While I acknowledge that challenging societal expectations and fostering a more inclusive and equitable world is an ongoing process and not something that can necessarily be done the next day, these articles have propelled me to take tangible actions. I am already taking part in community-based projects (my internship this summer) that promotes gender equality, highlight the growth of young girls, and individually support organizations dedicated to empowering marginalized voices. Through education, advocacy, and personal growth, I strive to create a ripple effect of positive change in my immediate surroundings and beyond.

Thank you for accompanying me on this deeply personal exploration (ew, I know). I encourage you to embark on your own journeys of reflection, questioning, and growth as we collectively work towards a world that celebrates and respects the inherent worth and agency of every individual.

Even with five weeks left to go, it still feels like time is going by so fast. Although my work week wasn’t particularly different from my previous ones, there was a program-specific event that struck me this week. Reflecting on my experience watching the play “THIS LAND WAS MADE”, I felt a sense of resonance to my own journey as a black student navigating a predominantly white institution. This captivating production, set in 1967 Oakland, transported my cohort and I to a time of social activism and a city on the brink of radical change. The play’s exploration of history, imagination, and the collision of different ideologies painted a vivid picture that was able to echo into our present moment in various ways.

The one character I hated, Troy, a black student attending UC Berkeley, stood out to me in a profound way. His struggle with opposing the ideals of the Black Panther Party and seeking validation from white society resonated deeply with my own experiences as a black Duke student. Troy’s relentless pursuit of acceptance and his belief that “leveling up” in society meant conforming to the expectations of white individuals felt very surreal to me, which was probably why I didn’t like him very much.

Through Troy’s character, the play sheds light on the internalized racism and self-hatred that I’ve seen plague individuals in marginalized/POC communities. As he navigates the complexities of his identity, Troy unwittingly harbors a deep-seated resentment toward his black skin. He yearns for acceptance and recognition, unaware that his aspirations for success are hindered by a society that perpetuates systemic racism and denies equal opportunities to individuals like him. He had instilled in himself that if he worked ‘hard enough’, there weren’t going to be any barriers to his success as a judge in the future.

I found solace in the fact that Troy’s struggles struck a chord not only with me but also with many others in my life. He represented so many people I knew in my life, both in and out of school. His journey mirrored the experiences of friends, classmates, family, and acquaintances who, like me, have grappled with the challenges of finding acceptance and belonging within predominantly white spaces. The pressure to assimilate and conform to societal standards, often at the expense of one’s true self and/or adhered to Euro-centric standards, is a burden far too familiar to many individuals in marginalized communities.

Troy’s character served as a poignant reminder of the importance of self-acceptance and embracing one’s identity, despite societal expectations and systemic barriers. It prompted me to question the validity of societal standards that perpetuate the notion that success and validation come only through the lens of whiteness, especially when I had lived in environments to see that it doesn’t have to at all.

This play’s exploration of history, activism, and personal struggles shined a spotlight on the need for continued progress and social change. It reminded me that the fight for equality and justice is continuous and that the legacies of past movements still reverberate through my present in America. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have experienced this exceptional production and the profound impact it has had on my understanding of identity, self-love, activism, and the ongoing struggle for acceptance.

So now that we’ve got our first week down, I have some things to say!

It’s been one whirlwind of a week since I last shared my thoughts in my pre-departure blog and I am bursting with stories and experiences from my internship at the Lower Eastside Girls Club. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in, because this first week has been nothing short of… different!

First off, I actually prefer walking over taking the shorter alternative! Do you mean to say that Niyat hasn’t ubered somewhere that’s a 5-minute walk? oh YES!

Starting with my internship at the Lower Eastside Girls Club, my fellow intern Sera has quickly become someone I’m still growing close to. We both embark on our passion for empowering young girls, love for exploring the vibrant streets of New York City, and probably talking about you…JK…or not. Our days are filled with laughter, deep conversations as we work side by side, and debates about taking the M9 bus back home as we know we’ll be walking for the 12th time that week. The people that work in the organization have been nothing short of welcoming and inspiring individuals themselves. One of the first people to help us settle in was a fellow Blue Devil and Co-Executive Director Ebonie. It was so motivating to see how she took away from her own experience interning with the Lower Eastside Girls Club 10 years ago and is there now helping transform lives!

Speaking of connections, my roommate Caroline and I bond over late-night chats and our shared interests in needing an hour of TikTok before bed. Her warmth and positive energy sure have made our living space feel like a true sanctuary<3

During our downtime, Nic and I have become thrift-shopping buddies, scouring the city for unique finds. Isabella, with her quick wit and infectious laughter, has brought an extra dose of joy to our group and our similar sense of humor has created an instant bond. Our inside jokes have become a soundtrack to our daily adventures and her presence reminds me of the importance of finding joy and laughter even in the midst of challenging times. Khilan, a gem in and of himself and whom I’ve named the fashion icon of our cohort, brings the drip regardless of the time and place. Paige is an undiscovered Michelin star chef?

Our visit to the documentary viewing of “Razing Liberty Square” shed light on the heavy toll of gentrification and systemic racism in Liberty Square, South Florida but I particularly loved the Q&A afterward with the actual individuals in the film. It was an experience that I’ll definitely be coming back there for and something I will keep seeking out even after my DukeEngage program. The 1980 short film, “Free, White, and 21” specifically opened my eyes to the stark realities that I myself still face today and how there hasn’t been much change socially since then. It moved me to tears when I had to visually and deeply reflect on my own identity and the experiences that come with being Black. I was glad that there weren’t too many people huddled around to see me cry, but I did keep standing there for a few minutes afterward. Sure, we have popularized things like cancel culture to bar people from being outwardly discriminatory, but how much of that really helps when things just turned passive and institutional instead? I’ve taken time since then to further think about the complexities and nuances of my racial identity, exploring the intersections of race, culture, and personal growth. I’m grateful to have this space to delve into feelings I didn’t want to confront for a very long time. It made me feel uneasy to think about what my relationship with the color of my skin would’ve been like if I had been born and raised here. As an international student, I always feel like I’m left in this gray area of having to constantly second-guess myself and my abilities. This is not to say that I haven’t had my fair share of learning curves, not-so-sweet realizations, and hard-to-swallow pills, but all of those were based on my ever-evolving character, not my race. You can always grow, learn from your setbacks, and even change things that might’ve made you feel insecure, but I was never made to feel like my blackness was one of them. It’s interesting huh?

Thank you for joining me on this rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. Stay tuned as I continue to share the stories of empowerment, connection, and personal growth that unfold during my time in NYC in the next few weeks.

… and If you can’t wait that long, my Snapchat story will keep you VERY updated with the close and personal info;)

I am both thrilled and grateful to have this incredible opportunity to make a positive impact alongside my peers, who will be embarking on their own internships across various organizations in the city. I’ve gotten the chance to meet my cohort a few times and I’m excited to be tackling the bustling world of empowerment and advocacy that is NYC with them.

The chance to work alongside the partners at the Lower Eastside Girls Club fills me with excitement and a sense of purpose. This organization has long been at the forefront of empowering girls and young women, providing them with the tools and opportunities to shape their own destinies. I feel incredibly fortunate to not only be part of a movement that recognizes the importance of education, leadership, and holistic development but empowers women and girls alike. One thing about me, when it comes to uplifting women in any way, shape, or form, I’m there! I’m excited to be a part of a cause that has been so dear to me prior to my presence at Duke.

To ensure I make the most of this internship, I have been immersing myself in their website, blog posts, and social media platforms to familiarize myself with their work and values. Additionally, I am brushing up on relevant topics to enhance my understanding and contribute meaningfully because as an international student, I recognize that there is still so much more about gender equity and youth empowerment in the United States for me to learn.

Why did I choose to embark on this internship journey? It’s simple—I believe in the power of education and empowerment to transform lives. In my previous experiences going to an only-girls school in Saudi Arabia and spending time in Ethiopia, the Lower Eastside Girls Club’s commitment to nurturing young minds and fostering leadership resonates deeply with me. I want to be part of an organization that is driving change, breaking barriers, and creating opportunities for the next generation of fierce, fearless, and trailblazing women because I have seen just how transformative one woman can be to the rest. I am eager to learn from the girls’ stories, share in their triumphs, and grow with them as I go.

However, I must admit that there is also a hint of uncertainty lingering in the back of my mind. As with any new experience, there are aspects that remain unclear, and a touch of nervousness accompanies the excitement. Questions arise: Will I live up to the expectations? How can I ensure that my contributions have a meaningful and lasting impact? But I remind myself that growth happens outside of our comfort zones, and that it’s okay to embrace the unknown, armed with determination and a willingness to learn.

So here I stand, on the cusp of an adventure, ready to embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and soak up every invaluable lesson along the way. I cannot wait to share my experiences, insights, and personal growth through this blog. Stay tuned as I embark on my Lower Eastside Girls Club internship and discover the true power of education, empowerment, and the strength of united voices.

Niyat Asefaw