This past weekend was Pride in NYC. It was a colorful, rowdy, amazing celebration of the LGBTQIA community, and more widely, the individuality and diversity of us all. The streets were  filled with people of all ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, and religions brought together by their pride in the LGBTQIA movement, either as a member or an ally.

Pride. What a double edged sword. On one hand, pride is a tool, a celebration, even an offensive weapon if need be. On the other hand, we are told that pride is vain, a vice, and a weakness. We often put great capital on humility, especially in social justice and nonprofit work. We avoid glorifying ourselves, and shift focus toward the work of the organization, the plight of those we serve.

Sometimes we want to find a problem in every action or program. After all, that’s how most of us learn and improve. But what if I said it’s okay to stop being a perfectionist for a second, to acknowledge that what you’ve accomplished is good, despite its problems? For some, that might feel like an uncomfortable space to inhabit and for others, it may feel like an affirmation of hard work and sacrifice.

Last week, I had the pleasure of interviewing my boss and the President/CEO of Choices, Merle Hoffman. Among other things, we discussed how she came to be in her position, and what motivated her through years of opposition and strain. She spoke of her enemies being the measure of her success, remarking, “It just validated that I was doing something very important, and very right.” She also explained how most people need to be praised or validated for their work. Especially in regards to social justice work, Merle emphasized the need for humility and perseverance. Yet as she spoke, I could see the pride in her eyes and hear it in her voice as she recounted all that she had accomplished.

Merle is right that in this line of work, there are often no cheerleaders in a very dark world. The other side of the coin though, I think, is the need for an inner pride. That pride in your work is what drives you forward when you are all alone. Without it, social justice work becomes an empty shell of servitude, lacking real substance and connection.

So it’s not either/or when it comes to pride and humility. Both are essential ingredients for the perfect social justice pie. Too much pride is what leads to arrogance and vanity, and too little can yield lackluster effort and disingenuity. Coupled with humility, just the right amount of pride in oneself and one’s work is what keeps your head above the water and your feet moving forward in this dark and lonely world.