The title of this post is dedicated to my grandpa. Because he loves the movie “No Country for Old Men”, probably because he is one. And also because he gave me the opportunity to become the crazy academic feminist I am today. And also because hopefully, he’ll never read this. 😀

As we walked around a tenement house from the 1800’s, I couldn’t help but think what it would have been like if my family lived in a space that small. Oh and I was also trying not to pass out from their lack of AC, but I was mostly thinking about my family. For a large part of my life, I grew up in my grandparent’s home. They have 5 children and me. And a dog or two, depending on the time period. So I’ve always had this big family vibe going on. But we also had a pretty decent sized house on Long Island.

I returned to the island this weekend to attend a barbecue my uncle was hosting. This included my other uncle as well as their wives, my cousins, and some family friends. Most of the people there have known me since I was born. Not only did they have to accept the fact that they were old as they watched me walk in now 20something years old, but they also had to listen to me talk, because I had 3 beers and the verbal diarrhea just wouldn’t stop flowing.

I was a quiet child (mostly because I was watching people and questioning their sanity in my head) so to come back 20 years later and see me as not only a college educated woman but also a feminist (dun, dun, dun) could be quite a scary experience. My family is pretty progressive for a number of reasons so no one like threw me out or made me make sandwiches or anything of the sort. But in my head, I was making a list of things NOT to say to your family when you are coming out to them …… as a feminist.

1. Socialism : Especially if someone in your family is the CEO of a Fortune 500. As we all know C.R.E.A.M. and you don’t wanna be taken out of the will.
2. Foucault : Because you barely know how to pronounce his name right, let alone summarize him for the general public to understand.
3. The identity marker game : Getting drunk and rambling about how 50% of your family had it easier because of their penis may make people uncomfortable.
4. The word systemic : Just because.
5.  Picking up your little cousins toys and rambling on about the dollhouse promoting heteronormative gender roles : Plus you had one growing up and you came out fine.
6. Lesbian revolution fantasies : Because they might mistake you coming out as a feminist as so much more.
7. Your pothead roommate: I don’t know how that slipped into the conversation.

Discussing your developing political views with anyone can be intimidating, especially when you feel like you barely know what you are talking about yourself. Would I encourage revealing your crazy radical feminist side to your family? Yes, because they watched you grow up and already knew you were destined to be a lune.