The director of our program cited a study that struck a chord with me today.  The study found that undergraduate women tended to be more over-scheduled and academically high-achieving than undergraduate men who tended to have lower grades and participate in leisure activities more often. There is an underlying notion that girls feel like they have to work harder in order to get where they want.

The over-scheduled and overworking part reminded me a lot of myself in high school and even now. Coming from a working class background, I got to where I am today by working hard in school and taking advantage of every opportunity that came. And I mean every.

Sometimes I look back at my high school years and even last semester and ask myself: could I have done things differently and still achieved the same academic success but plus happiness?

I observed that my male friends, regardless of race, social economic class, or whatever factor, are all involved in one or both of the activities that the director listed:  leisurely sports and video games. I love both of those things. If I could go back, I would spend at least 1 hour a day playing a leisurely sport and at least finish playing Portal. My excuse has always been that I just don’t have enough time because of homework or extracurricular I activities. (Granted, I enjoyed all of my extracurriculars; they made me a much better person. Still, there’s nothing quite like the joy of an hour of racquetball.)

For that reason, I envy my guy friends a lot. They achieved the level of success that they wanted but still were able to do the random things that they enjoyed. I don’t think that they’re being lazy or over-confident at all. I think they’re just doing what’s healthy: enjoying life.

That is why I decided to start making time for those things. I think that the meaning of the word “all” in the “having it all” phrase is to just have exactly what you crave. At the end of the day, the list of things that makes me happy is usually very short and the items are very small. Sometimes all I want is an onigiri (rice ball) or just a good friend.

I know that the economy is tough and the field that I’ve set my sight on is very competitive. I don’t have any control over that, though. The one thing that I definitely have power over is my time, and I’d like to start having the time of my life. That’s really all  I want.

I’d like to end with this quote from a friend’s blog. I’ve read it before, but it never fails to provoke me to straighten my priorities whenever I revisit it.

“Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson