Disappointment at work is inevitable, but how you respond can shape your growth and future opportunities. We can bounce back better from a disappointment if we pay more attention to our internal dialogue. To avoid falling into unproductive mindsets (thinking “I deserved this,” “I’ll never succeed,” or “How could they choose someone else?”), take control of your next move with these six steps.

Manage your emotions. Acknowledge your feelings without letting them define you. Labeling emotions helps you understand them and choose a constructive response. Speaking with trusted confidants or journaling can help you process what happened and move on.

Reassess your expectations. Reflect on whether your assumptions were realistic. Adjust your expectations and perhaps you’ll find you are not disappointed by as many situations in the office.

Allow for recovery. Take time to rest and recharge. Reconnect with energizing routines and activities outside work. Recovery isn’t indulgent—it’s strategic.

Draw out learning. Seek feedback from decision-makers and peers. Ask what you did well, what was missing, and how you can grow. Even unclear answers can inform your next steps.

Reboot your confidence. When something goes wrong at work and you receive a reprimand, try not to take it as an attack on you personally. Use positive self-affirmations. Revisit past wins and take small, confidence-building actions. Progress starts with momentum. Consider these phrases for managing your inner voice:

• “I am granting myself some grace today. I am in the process of learning.”
• “I am here. I am enough. I am learning to be a better person.”
• “Do it scared. You’re already scared anyway.”
• “You are right where you’re supposed to be.”
• “This moment is a gift, and I can use it to do what I love.”
• “Return to the breath”
• “What will I do to respond?”

Try again. Don’t let yourself be derailed by a setback. Jump back on the horse and try again. Your persistence and strength in the face of obstacles will pay off and may be rewarded down the road. Learning to persist despite disappointments is an important life lesson. When you have internalized this, you’ll be able to move forward.

Dealing with disappointment is a strategic endeavor. It involves a series of choices about how to respond and what to do next. Done badly, it diminishes your reputation and damages your prospects. Done well, it strengthens your resolve, clarifies your focus, and positions you for growth. Which path will you choose?

References:
Medium (2018, July 30) Kristen Butler: 5 Simple Techniques to Cope with Disappointment at Work
HBR (2025, April 14) David Lancefield and Dina Denham Smith: 6 Ways to Deal with Disappointment Strategically
Greater Good Magazine (2024, February 6) Julien C. Mirivel and Julie Allison: How to Reboot After Disappointment at Work

Civility can increase employees’ job satisfaction, mental health, and organizational commitment while reducing their emotional exhaustion and intention to quit. But in today’s tense environment, even casual remarks, lighthearted jokes, or well-meaning feedback can trigger frustration or conflict. Staying professional during conflict takes practice.

Our brain processes 11 million pieces of information per second, all stemming from our 5 senses. To process this information quickly, only about 5% of our brain’s activities are conscious.

When we are triggered by a person or situation, our bodies undergo a physical reaction from our unconscious brain. This response is often referred to as the flight, fright, or freeze states. These states are conditions of being human. We cannot stop our biological initial reaction to a specific situation.

These states have a direct impact on our physical bodies. For example, it is common to experience shallow breathing and a fast heart rate when your body is in flight, fight, or freeze mode (a.k.a., survival mode).

The good news is that you CAN teach your brain to flip the switch and get yourself out of survival mode quickly. With practice, you can learn to flip that switch in just a few seconds for most triggers (longer for more egregious ones) so that you can move forward professionally, regardless of what is thrown your way.

A simple framework you can use to manage your emotions and move forward professionally is “SOAR.”

STOP – Pause. Become aware of how you are feeling and resist the urge to act without thinking. Take deep breaths to re-center.

OBSERVE – When you feel attacked, your brain shifts into threat mode, reducing your ability to think clearly. Pause before reacting so you don’t speak or act impulsively from a place of stress. Name how you are feeling and observe how the other parties involved are reacting. Get curious about the situation.

ACKNOWLEDGE – Acknowledge what you need to do in the moment to show up as a leader. Labeling your emotions helps you regain control. Identify whether the threat is to your status, certainty, autonomy, relationship to others, or sense of fairness. Putting your finger on the threat you’re facing will activate your reasoning and diffuse the emotional charge.

RESPOND – Break the cycle. Respond intentionally with clarity and neutrality to avoid escalating the situation. Keep your message focused and non-defensive, redirecting the conversation toward something constructive rather than confrontational.

With practice and moving step-by-step through the “SOAR” method, you will find that you can access and engage your problem-solving abilities with ease. This framework gives you the right to choose how to react to a situation, so you can show up intentionally and authentically in your career.

References:
Engineers Rising (2021, July 29) Staff Writer: How to Manage Emotions and Stay Professional During Conflict
HBR (2025, March 28) Laura Cassiday and David Rock: What it Takes to Fix a “Mean” Workplace

Leading through tension is part of being a manager, but you don’t have to go into emotionally charged meetings unprepared. Here’s how to stay grounded and guide high-stakes conversations with clarity and composure.

Visualize the meeting in advance. Picture the setting, the people involved, and how you want to feel walking out. Mentally rehearse how you’ll open the discussion, handle tension, and steer toward resolution. Anticipate challenges and plan calm, confident responses.

Reframe your mindset. Focus on the positives. Before the meeting, reflect on what you appreciate about the individuals involved or what good outcomes could come from the conversation. This small shift builds emotional resilience and helps you approach the interaction with empathy and clarity.

Adjust the setup. Use the “Five W’s”—who, what, where, when, and why—to fine-tune the logistics. Who needs to be there? Should you bring in resources to support the conversation? What needs to be shared and what doesn’t? Where should the meeting take place, and what is the optimal time? Finally, why is this discussion important?

Build in buffer time. Give yourself 10 minutes before the meeting to get focused and 10 minutes after to reset. A short walk or quiet moment can help you stay composed and avoid carrying stress into your next interaction.

Another smart move is to beef up your Emotional intelligence to navigate these scenarios. Emotional Intelligence in the workplace is critical to mastering interpersonal skills, crucial for conflict management and effective communication. It involves understanding and regulating emotions to make thoughtful, objective decisions.

Emotional intelligence can greatly impact the success and productivity of a team. Here are 8 questions to help teammates process their emotions and refocus on work:

Not every emotionally charged moment comes with a warning, some take you by surprise. But when you do see one ahead, effective preparation makes all the difference. By visualizing success, focusing on the positives, deliberately modifying the situation, and building in buffer zones, you will navigate fraught meetings more confidently and successfully. Leadership will always involve some intense interactions, but with the right strategies, you can turn them into defining moments that drive real progress.

References:
HBR (2025, April 2) Dina Denham Smith: How to Prepare for a Meeting Where Emotions Will Run High
Cloverleaf (2023, February 3) Peggy Murriner: Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace: A Guide for Leaders