Navigating a relationship with a manager you perceive as ineffective or unqualified can be frustrating, but it can also be a catalyst for growth. Rather than allowing frustration to erode your engagement and productivity, shift your focus to what you can control. You may not have control over who you report to, but you can control the beliefs, assumptions, and narratives you create about the situation, as well as the impact of your behavior on those around you.  

Here are six steps you can take to shift the dynamic.

Reflect on what’s really bothering you. Is it a disagreement over tasks, or a misalignment in values? Sometimes, it’s not about your manager’s competency but rather your own expectations and responses.

Take ownership of your part in the relationship. Consider how actions like disengaging or reacting defensively might contribute to the strain. Think about what this resistance might be costing you in terms of personal growth and team harmony.

Align your approach with your values. If transparency matters to you but feels absent in your working relationship, explore how you can model this value in your behavior—even if it’s not fully reciprocated by your boss.

Reframe the story you’re telling yourself. Look for places where the differences with your manager are complimentary or identify ways in which you are uniquely qualified to support your leader. When you find common ground with your manager, you increase productivity and improve your relationship, as well as decrease your stress level. Identify what your manager is contributing that is unique to the team.

Open a dialogue. Consider initiating a positive conversation, expressing a desire to strengthen collaboration and align on expectations. Simple questions like “How can we support each other better?” or “What priorities should I focus on?” can foster a clearer understanding of expectations and build a more constructive relationship.

Be part of the solution. Look beyond your day-to-day frustrations and think more broadly about how your behavior contributes to your leadership brand and the contribution you want to make. This will help you increase your influence, promote a positive environment, and create business value.

If, after having an honest conversation with yourself and your manager, you still believe they’re the core issue, it might be time to move on.

 

References:
Harvard Business Review (2024, November 14) Sarah Mann and Luis Velasquez: When Your Manager is Ineffective – and You Feel Stuck