Author Archives: Samuel Kebede

How I Learned to Vanya/Sam

So Ist Das Leben

I was once told that the best way to write something was to write backwards. Get a good strong ending and work your way back. During the last weekend, I went through a lot. The fever. The dislocated shoulder. The grappling with the fact that everyone that saw Vanya couldn’t help seeing how similar we are.  But for the first time, relinquishing a character wasn’t difficult. Of course, it’s impossible to fully eradicate the character from me. When you put on someone else’s scope, you yourself gain a new life lesson. A lesson that was a lifetime in the teaching. But to give up the burden of Vanya, is a blessing. As much of a blessing as having the opportunity to play the part. I think back to one rehearsal when we were rehearsing the scene where Vanya is told that the estate will be sold. After doing the scene three times, I went to Thomas relieved to get a break. Upon giving an sigh of relief, Thomas gave me a perplexed judging look. As if I wasn’t happy or greatful to be doing what I was doing. I was of course happy to perform, but I was not happy as I transitioned back into being Sam. I operate under a few key assumptions. Everyone at some point has considered suicide of some form; everyone is pursuing an objective at all times and is therefore after something; and, important to this situation, the amount of grief a four year old can experience at the loss of ice cream can be of a similar vein as a man losing his wife based on proportional life experience. When I was taking off that bathrobe and getting ready to sit down, I was walking away from my Sam equivalent of the time my house was being taken from me. I was walking away from my own personal baggage at some level. Because although I was not thinking of that time in particular and nor was I embodying some sort of method acting technique, my body’s shape and movement held that same tension.

I also hated being a good person for so long. One of the big acting teachings I got from the O’Neill that I would have never picked up at Duke was the idea that the best actor was the best person. That your interpersonal relationships within the cast and with every one of your acting partners is dependent on your not holding judgement or criticism or spite. All of these elements can make the rehearsal space (a place where freedom and creativity must reign) toxic and murky. There were many times where I wanted to blow up at people or storm out of rooms or push the exact buttons I knew to make someone cry. But I didn’t. And I grew because of it. This terrible experiment of making college students work on a show together for a period ranging from 8-4 months has made me realize that thinking before I speak is essential. That their are two sides to every opinion and that I have no right to assume that I am not in the wrong. This wasn’t a characteristic that Vanya had unfortunately. But I was smart to avoid absorbing his temperament. I would even go to say that Vanya acted like an anti-idol for me in some categories. His inability to see the situation he was in and push forward was the motivation for many of the decisions that I have made through this rehearsal process. His combination of Sloth, Misogyny, and Self-hatred are all aspects that I actively try to avoid in my day to day life. But when I was on stage I did feel, from time to time, that I had the right to indulge in these horrific mannerisms. I would, if only for a second, sit in my chair and feel true laziness before snapping back into being an actor playing Vanya with an activated spine, flexed abdominal cavity, and fixed relaxed shoulders.

I felt like these moments where I was just letting myself be him felt good. Not because of the obvious reasons, but because it alleviated the tension I had when I first got the role of Vanya. The apprehension at the thought of playing a huge character in such an iconic show. The apprehension went away within the first week of rehearsals in September, but I can’t say that the casting didn’t play into mindset. Being originally cast as Professor and then having to re-audition to get the part I wanted made me feel unworthy at some level. The constant thought of being “Another Vanya” instead of being “One Vanya”. But that was before I thought about the summer I had experienced. The summer that, in my opinion, was the only reason I was able to sky rocket in talent and be able to play Vanya. The summer where I had worked and sweat and cried. The summer where I shadowed a cast of Broadway actors on a production of a developing play where a key phrase from the play echoed in my head. The last lines of the play.

So Ist Das Leben

Shopping Spree

In the words of the eternal wizard of words Kanye West, “I am a God”. I have been informed that all blog posts should have our names at the start to inform the reader of who we are. Well, I am Sam and if any of you ask whether or not I eat Green Eggs and Ham I will get mad because I don’t like eggs and I try to keep kosher. Speaking of Kosher, I am a god because I helped make my stairs (the ones leading to my room in the show). Now I originally thought that after completing this task I would feel like I had completed this part of me that would connect me to my character, but it actually did nothing of the sort. This experience just gave me a large appreciation for the amount of work that goes into the piece of art that comprises the world of Vanya. Everything from the tiny little fixtures that add a bit of pizzazz, to the behemoth of stairs that I barely helped complete. After this experience I started to think of the shoes I was filling. It made me aware of what it was like for the Zeuses and the Buddahs and the Dave Berberians that paved the way for me to be where I am today. So when I am at the top of my room screaming down at the peons below me, I will now that I can only do so because of all the people that poured their blood, sweat, and (although Dave would never admit it) tears into this set and this creative collaborative process.

Sam’s one serious post

This show is a big deal. I, of course, take every role I perform extremely seriously, but this show is a big deal. In performing in this show, we are all joining the ranks of some of the greatest actors that have ever lived. We will now share the common bonds of sadness, hope, and regret that resonate within the pages of that script. Now I don’t mean to say this in a way that would intimidate or scare, but rather to acknowledge the honor of this opportunity. Whenever we do the warm-up where we reach up at what we want, I constantly grab at the ability to truthfully play this part. To deserve the privilege that has been presented to me. To have Vanya step out of the audience after opening night and say to me, “That was it. That’s exactly what happened”. I don’t know where I’m going with this post, but that’s probably for the better considering we haven’t begun to see the terrific tragedy that will be doing this show and only better mirrors the wide-eyed uncertainty that we are all leaning into during this collaborative time.

I do wish to leave one last thing here before I stop typing. This summer I went to the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center to study Acting for 6 weeks. There was this point during the 6 weeks where I was exhausted after doing the physical equivalent of a 7 mile run and was lying in the grass staring at the sky preparing myself to perform the scene that leads to the suicide of the main character from The Seagull. At that point I asked myself, “What time is it?”. I then realized that time didn’t matter while I was there. I was at a place where no matter what I did next or was told to do next, it would ultimately be more theater. I had been given the luxury that is a place without time. It wasn’t until later that week that I realized that every time I, or anyone else, steps into a rehearsal, they are stepping into a world without time. A place where all they do is the one thing they care about, to their hearts content, without worrying about the stresses and strains of “the outside”. I take this fact with me always, and whenever I feel weak or pressed I remind myself of where I am and that I have time to repair let alone to spare. Hopefully that or all of this meant something to someone at sometime.

Super seriously sans-satirically,

Sam

 

Read me! You know you Vanna

Dear humans and russian literature enthuciasts,

I originally wrote this five days ago, but decided to let my thoughts simmer and calm down before posting. Here is the calmer version of my post:

My mind hath been blown!!!!! I am realizing that Chekhov has been recycling the same theatrical motifs over and over again in some attempt to make good literature. Last Tuesday in class, we decided to read excerpts from some of Chekhov’s Vaudevilles as well as from his Core Four (Seagull, Vanya, Sisters, and Orchard) and The Wood Demon (his failure of a show that ended up being reworked into Vanya). Now I have critically assessed all of the Core Four except for The Cherry Orchard and although I have noticed elements that have been similar, my mind has never been so stretched until I added Wood Demon to the mix. It was with this play that I was able to realize that all Chekhov does is remake the same play. The following are all of the things that I (a lowly college student) noticed as repetition in his plays after thinking for about 10 minutes:

Gun for attempted/successful suicide murder (Ivanhov, Seagull, Vanya, Sisters, Wood Demon)

Fire (Wood Demon, Sisters)

Valerian Drops (Vanya, Seagull, Sisters, Wood Demon)

Doctor Character (all of them)

Large estate but stuck in a cramped place (Seagull, Vanya, Sisters)

Over powering theme of being watched by servants/spectators (Seagull, Vanya, Sisters, Wood Demon)

Offstage death that people react to onstage (Seagull, Wood Demon, Sisters)

Offstage death that people react to, but ultimately in a funny manner (Wood Demon, Seagull)

Now I’m not comparative dramatic literature major, but that was a bit too easy. The answer is clear. All of Chekhov’s stories are just continuations of each other. The mighty Anton Chekhov has only written one measly story over a 15 year period and the only thing that stopped him from writing The Cherry Orchard Part 2 (the tale of an old russian man who has an unrequited love that drives him to be sad consider suicide and then be talked out of it by his Doctor friend thus reverting everything back to normal) was his darn TB. So yeah Tony, I’m calling you out. If you wish to duke it out, I will be in either the BC rehearsal room or Scheafer Theater for most days until the end of November. I have attached a photo of me in full armor for intimidation purposes.

Sincerely,

Kommodore Kebede176653_3791724068157_306995955_o

 

Enter Sam-man

My name is Samuel Kebede and I approve this message.

I have been excited for Vanya for way too long now. I was/am part of the student board that gave Jeff feedback on what show students would want to see, and Uncle Vanya was at the top of my list. That was back in March. Fast Forward 6 months and two auditions and now I’m VANYA!!!! My better half for this show is Sir Thomas Kavanagh. Thomas is awesome! I mean, his last name is basically KaVANYA (did I just blow your mind). Speaking of things that blow minds, that set. AHHHH!!!! It’s awesome!!! Our first class meeting was filled with oohs and ahhs at the set. But I’m also terrified of it. The acting areas are so strictly partitioned, I’m worried about how to move in those quadrants and the limitations I have of not being able to be in the space until late October. I guess I should start to talk character.

As I write this I am in a character chat with Thomas and we are discussing the intricacies of relationships on and off stage as well as how Vanya works with others. But enough about that. I for one am (in character animal form) a tiger with a machine gun and jet pack. But Vanya is more of a sad goose. While on this thought trail, I believe that when making a character you need to bridge the gap between your character and yourself to better form a truthful performance that can do the character justice with what you have. That is why my character image during the process will be a sad goose with a jet pack.

Follow my blog posts for more brilliance,

Sam