I’ve often thought that I learn more about life every summer than I learn in a whole school year. This summer, I think I learned more about what I want to do with my life than I learned in all the classes that I took last year. Mostly, this was because, outside of interning in the Coers lab, I had the opportunity to reflect. I talked to the students in the Coers lab, professors, my friends, and my family as I’ve tried to find the direction of my life. Through the many seminars with Duke researchers that I have enjoyed as part of the Research Fellows program, I known that life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan it. That being said, I still like to have a plan.
I started the summer in the library at Virginia Commonwealth University, reading books on politics, searching for inspiration for an art piece that I was working on. As I read more books and articles, I was gripped by some passionate concern for the political issues that I was reading about. I didn’t know what to do with this passion, but I continued to read for the month that I was at home before I returned to Duke.
When I came to Duke and started working in the Coers lab, I was fascinated by microbiology. I learned about PCR and chlamydia and gene editing. When I understood that I was using CRISPR/Cas9 technology, a very new gene editing technology, to study innate immunity, I was hooked. Already such a new technology was being applied so usefully. I sensed progress in biology, a subject that had always fascinated me, and I wanted to be there pushing the frontiers of biological knowledge.
I also have long coveted the ability of physicians to treat the injured and ill. I watched documentaries on surgeries that seemed especially interesting and marveled at them, dreamed of being able to perform them one day. The conviction that I was called to be a physician was extremely strong.
But I was torn three ways: there was my interest in politics, my interest in research, and my interest in medicine. Could it be possible to pursue three interests or would I have to choose between them? What were the considerations to make when deciding something like this? Was there a wrong decision? God knows how much I agonized over this.
It was a blessing to have my roommate Hannah going through a similar struggle. She was trying to decide between a career in neuroscience and a career in dentistry. We talked and talked about our futures. At the beginning of the summer, I think we were both pressuring ourselves. Dentistry is stable, Hannah said, so maybe that’s what I should do. I should go to medical school without taking a gap year because otherwise I’ll be very old when I’m finally a doctor, I said. We were both anxious and confused.
A couple days ago, Hannah and I went out to dinner, and Hannah was all smiles. I’m going to explore my interest in neuroscience because I think I might love it, and I need to do what I love to be happy, Hannah said. I congratulated her on the decision, and our dinner was celebratory. A couple of weeks before this, I had decided to explore my interests in scientific research and medicine as an undergrad, while still minoring in political science. I also planned to take a gap year devoted to my interest in politics.
By the end of the Research Fellows program, the future looked exciting instead of frightening.
I cannot thank the Howard Hughes Research Fellows program enough for helping me see that scientific research is a part of my future. I cannot thank it enough for my amazing, amazing lab placement. I cannot thank it enough for one of the greatest summers of my life!
