Farewell (for now)

Why couldn’t time have flown this fast when I was waiting for my gels to run? It’s July 25^th already, and my time in the Howard Hughes Research Fellows Program is finished.

This past semester, when I was hoping to be admitted to the program, I looked on the website and saw a picture of last year’s fellows on the steps in the Hall of Science. This morning we took that same picture.

I spent last summer at a pet kennel (err, pet “resort and salon”) shoveling poop and doling out food bowls. I spent this summer doing breast cancer research.

This time last year, I was a kid. Now, I am a scientist. And that is only because this program has been the most challenging experience of my life so far.

Over the last 8 weeks, every single aspect of myself has been pushed to its limits–namely my intelligence, my patience, my social skills, and my hand-eye coordination. For that reason I have spent a good amount of time being frustrated– frustrated with cancer, with Western Blots, with all types of cells, but mostly, with myself. I was frustrated when I didn’t understand the lab’s work immediately. I was frustrated when I botched experiments. I was frustrated when I did experiments perfectly and they told me nothing. But by pushing through this frustration, by reading more papers, by asking more questions, and by doing the same experiments over and over and over again, I have learned more than I ever thought I could in just a couple of months.

In addition to the challenges I faced in the lab, I had to learn to be on my own. And by that I mean I had to learn how to cook something other than cereal and scrambled eggs.

On top of the knowledge that I’ve gained in the way of procedures, scientific concepts, and recipes, this summer has changed the way I think. Experimentation has taught me to be focused and scrupulous. Indeed, the devil—as well as the data—is in the details. Lab meetings and hallway conversations with lab mates have taught me to question absolutely everything, and to decide which questions are truly worth pursuing. As I evolve into a mature woman and a knowledgeable scientist, my internal monologue is starting to sound more and more like that of an irritating 2 year old. “Why?” “Why?” “How?” “Why?” It turns out that the more you learn about cancer, and about life, the more you realize just how little you know.

The culmination of these experiences came this week, when I had the opportunity to present my research in the form of a poster, and to make a lovely Greek quinoa salad with baked chicken. With every prideful examination of the poster I put so many hours into, and every bite of my very own homemade meal that didn’t make me want to gag, I realized just how much this summer has changed me for the better.

I can’t say thank you enough to the many, many people who worked so hard to make this summer as amazing as it was. From our fearless leader Dr. G, to the dynamic duo of KP & Pauly D, to my wonderful mentors and friends at the Pendergast Lab, everyone has been endlessly patient, kind, and dedicated to making our experiences as awesome as possible.

Yes, the program is coming to a close, and I’m looking forward to going home to spend quality time with my dogs (and my family too I guess). My time in research, however, is just beginning.