After surviving the backbreaking, often anxiety-rising interview process, people might assume that waiting for the internship to start is a rather placid time period. However, this time can also be nerve wrecking in its excitement, as one becomes concerned with how they will succeed in this new position. As someone who has been feeling equally eager and anxious to start his internship, I will share some information that has caused my mindset to shift from one of worry to one of preparation and success-focused.

#facebookuniversity   #internship   #careeradvice   #bookish   #questbridge

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Did you know…? 

Did you know that I’m a QuestBridge scholar? Or, maybe for some of you, I think a better question would be if you’ve ever heard of QuestBridge. QuestBridge (or QB as I call it) is a national nonprofit organization who, as I like to tell others, acts as a bridge between low-income/first-generation high school students and the top universities in the nation. Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with the shift in my mentality. Don’t worry — I’m getting to that. (After all, don’t need you getting bored in my rambling now, do I?)

QB helped put my life on this course, and I’ll always feel blessed to have been matched to Duke University. More importantly, however, QB introduced me to information I didn’t know that I was looking for. Throughout the year, the organization hosts webinars and other virtual events. I’ll admit that I tend to miss most of these, but the name of one caught my attention — “How to Succeed in Your Full-Time Job or Summer Internship.” Seemed like fate since I would be starting my Facebook internship soon (or more like the organization just acknowledged that student + approaching summer = potential intern in need of assistance). Either ways, I knew that I should check it out.

QUICK NOTE

Maybe you’re like me and think that you’ll be fine~ right? After all, you may not be the perfect employee, but you’ll do okay enough at your job or internship that you’ll be considered good enough by your peers and manager. Surely you don’t need the information in this article and that book – you’ve probably already heard it 1000 times before after all. But where’s the harm in checking out something that could help you succeed in your career. I won’t say anything more than that :-)

Head in the Books 

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been reading as often as I did while in middle school. (Most likely because I’ve been too busy binge watching episodes of Shadowhunters) That said, I think The Unspoken Rules: Secret to Starting Your Career off Right may just be the book to get me back on the reading wagon. And maybe even you too :-)

Written by Gorick Ng, this book reflects on his own experience in the corporate world as a first-generation, low-income student, along with information he’s gotten from interviewing more than 500 professionals. Based upon these, he tells the reader about the rules he has learned. These are not just any rules, but rather the ‘invisible’ rules of the work place.

To use Ng’s words: “The problem is, these rules aren’t taught in school. Instead, they get passed down over the dinner table or from mentor to mentee, making for an unlevel playing field, with the insiders getting ahead the outsides stumbling along through trial and error.”

Right now, I’m feeling like an outsider and maybe you are too. Let’s try to change that a bit.

What I Learned 

So, I’ll be honest — I have yet to finish the entire book. (My addiction to television is often too strong to resist) However, I have gotten around to reading the first 25 pages, which Ng has made available for anyone to read. So, based off the QB webinar with Ng and this preview, I will briefly share some of what I have learned so far. But just before I get into that, I would like to drop something here that I hope will encourage you to not stop reading halfway through :-)

This graph shows the routes of two professionals as they navigate their new job. Person A is inner, someone who has been taught the Unspoken Rules throughout their life. Then there’s Person B, an outsider who has learned very little of these rules. Starting from before they start their new job to two years later, you can see how different — extremely different — their experiences are. Now, it should be kept in mind that Person A and Person B represent the extremes of a spectrum, so it’s not as if someone has to be one or the other. Nevertheless, the question still remains: which one do you want to be more like?

Now, continuing on…

In the introduction, Ng shares with us the Unspoken Rules before going into the secrets that will help the reader live by them (so no, we can’t just read the rules and call it quits). To share a few of these rules for you:

• See the big picture. When beginning a new role, it can often be easy to get caught up solely in what your responsibilities include. Not to say this isn’t important (because it is), but to say that you will benefit from understanding more about your job than just your job. What your team does, who it serves, who its competitors are, how your role helps achieve the goals that have been established — there are a handful of things worth knowing.
• Manage your intent and impact. As you know, the way we desire to come across to others (intent) is not always the same as how we actually come across (impact). (I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s tried making a joke only to get hit with a poker face… right?) Considering how easy and often this can happen, attempt to be as clear as possible and clarify what others may misinterpret.
• Recognize patterns. I believe that the human brain is just wired to notice some trends. However, there are times when we are just a bit too focused on a task or too distracted by our own nervousness and anxiety that we can miss the patterns that are there. Avoid the same ‘negative’ things (such making a mistake, asking a ‘stupid’ question, being confused/lost on a matter, etc) and continue the more positive ones by recognizing patterns. For example, if you know your manager tends to ask for something around the same time every week, have it ready for them.

I know — this is all ‘common sense’ right? Well, if you know me, you know that I don’t very much like the term. But putting that personal issue aside (because trust me, I’d rant), if these Unspoken Rules were truly such common knowledge, then everyone would already be a high achiever in their respective fields and there’d be no need to have an entire book about them. Sadly, that’s just not our reality, especially if you’re an outsider.

The next thing that Ng covers are the Three C’s, a framework that he uses throughout the book which utilizes the three questions your coworkers, managers, and clients will keep in mind when working with you. These Three C’s are:

• Competence. Can you do your job better than a first grader? This means handling your responsibilities to their full extent, accurately and swiftly without always having to be told what to do. While it is their job to manage you, managers do not quite enjoy micromanaging your every move — it won’t be something you enjoy either (unless you truly are a first grader, then that may be a different story).
• Commitment. Hmm.. are truly you excited to be here with us? This one can be a bit difficult, I know. After all, there’s no way someone will love their job all of the time. (Even parenting isn’t like that, and everyone says it’s the best job there is!) However, you want to make sure you are fully present and ready to contribute to your team’s success, which will lead those around you to know that you are indeed committed.
• Compatibility. Do you get along with us or are we just waiting to break up like Destiny’s Child? This may seem like the easiest of the three (or most difficult depending on your personality). However, it can truly be one of the most challenging qualities to have in the workplace as we are people and people don’t always get along (once again, Destiny’s Child). Not only that, but it can sometimes be tough to get along with people who you may have nothing in common with — different beliefs, backgrounds, lifestyles, interests, or even ages. That said, it is possible to navigate these differences and find common ground with your fellow employees and manager.

QUICK NOTE

While it is important to meet the criteria for each of these qualities, it is equally important to not over-exceed them as well. This may sound somewhat counterintuitive, but what happens when you’re too competent? or too commited? or too compatable? Well, you can come off as overbearing (a Miss/Mr.Know-it-All), threatening (‘extra’ in the wrong way), and even fictitious (a poser), respectively. As I like to say: you have to hit the sweet spot, aka the Goldilock zone, with each of these qualities.

To help this all make more sense, Ng provides the readers with a venn diagram with the Three C’s. It shows us how we likely come off to others when we possess only two of the three qualities, as well as what happens when we possess all three.

QUICK NOTE

Although the circles for each of the Three C’s are equal in the venn diagram, there are some company cultures where one or two of the Three C’s may be more valuable than the others. Once you realize how your company prioritizes these qualities, you will better understand what you can do to succeed in the workplace.

In the end, this is all just a peek into what I learned regarding The Unspoken Rules and only a tiny fraction of what is included in the book. I’d mention more, but I don’t want to make this post too too long. That said, if you’re curious about what other career advice this book will offer you, feel free to check out the 25-page preview or buy the full book sold on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I’m sure the shirt you’ve been staring at like it’s dipped in gold can wait :-)

Now What? 

When reading all of this, it can all come off as a bit overwhelming (at least I know that it was for me). It can be difficult to consider what is most important, what should be addressed first, how should it be addressed, etc. For that reason, I’ll tell you how I plan to follow some of the advice mentioned so far from The Unspoken Rules.

I like to think of a lot of things in 3’s (which may be obvious by now), but I think I’ll stick with 2 this time around:

1. Improve my workplace perspective. While I am someone who can take a step back, I often focus solely on my job and get caught up in what my tasks include. This can be great for completing my work, but I have to remember: my job is more than just my job. If I want success in my career, I have to get better at stepping back. This means learning to see beyond my immediate responsibilities, noticing trends in my work, and more.
2. Routine evaluation of the Three C’s. I believe that I possess each of these qualities to a decent degree, but I know the each one can be improved. As such, I think it is best that I be continuously cognizant of how I portray each of these qualities to those around me in the workplace. This means giving myself an evaluation every once in a while and improving these qualities when I feel they are lacking.

Your Turn 

If you’ve gotten this far, congratulation! I know that it can be easy to simply skim readings or stop halfway through (or sooner!), so I want thank you for reading it all. Not only that, but I also want to let you know that I truly feel like you are one step closer to achieving success within your career :-)

Now, to ensure that all of this knowledge hasn’t be consumed and expelled like eggs on a hot summer day, I ask that you all take the time to share in the comments what information given by Ng in The Unspoken Rules stands out to you.

Finally (yes, just one more little thing), if there is anyone who you feel is a fellow outsider — especially those starting a new job or internship — consider sharing this post and/or The Unspoken Truth with them. They’ll love it if they desire success in their career!

As always, feel free to message me on LinkedIn if you would like to talk personally. Have a good day!

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