It Must Be Yuanfen

Do you ever hear the Chinese word yuanfen (缘分yuánfèn) on different occasions? When you attend a ceremony like a wedding, you can often hear the host saying: “It’s yuanfen that brings all of us here today (缘分让我们相聚于此).” In many romance novels or soap operas, you may see sweet phrases with the word yuanfen like “I believe our love is yuanfen that comes after several reincarnations (我想这就是一场不知道几世轮回修得的缘分吧).” Also, if you are a lover of classical Chinese poetry, you may notice the character yuan (缘) as seen in many poems like “The birds are pleased when they are picking flowers but I don’t have the yuanfen to be young again (绣羽衔花他自得，红颜竹骑我无缘).”

After seeing a few examples, here’s a small quiz for both Chinese and foreign readers: Can you try to find an English word or a word in other languages to replace yuanfen that could make the sentences read smoothly? I know it’s hard to understand such a word, let alone translate it into other languages. And that’s what I would like to talk about in this article: The meaning of the word yuanfen and the interesting parts of both traditional and contemporary Chinese culture it could reflect.

In order to understand the basic meaning of yuanfen, we need to trace back to its origins. The concept of yuanfen came into existence after Buddhism was first introduced into China during the Han Dynasty, which was more than two thousand years ago. Moreover, in ancient Taoism and Confucianism, there were similar concepts as well. According to them, yuanfen is a concept used to describe relationships between different individuals that isn’t determined by people themselves, but instead has already been arranged by tianming (天命), or destiny, even before they are born. ¹

Moreover, people are bound to have such relationships in their lives and cannot avoid them no matter what happens. In China, this concept is usually used to explain relationships that might be attributed to coincidences elsewhere. For example, let’s suppose that there were a boy and a girl who lived in the same city and then moved to different cities without further contact. After several years, they happened to meet again on the street of another city. Native English speakers might say, “Wow, what a coincidence!” But for many Chinese people, they would rather say, “Wow, we have great yuanfen (哇，我们真有缘分)!”

Then here is another question: What is the tianming that determines our yuanfen? It seems to be an even stranger concept. However, if we want to truly understand the meaning of yuanfen, we have to figure out its determining factors. Generally, tianming is a concept shared by both Buddhism and Confucianism in China. Many people might assume that it is a concept which is quite similar to “God,” however, they have some differences. In fact, tianming doesn’t refer to a specific individual like Jesus, but instead refers to something quite abstract: the law of nature. Pioneers in both Buddhism and Confucianism tended to interpret that our courses of life are arranged by such laws of nature and cannot be easily changed by human power. ² Those who obey the tianming well are called junzi (君子), or gentlemen. Those who dare to violate it will be punished and their behaviors will be condemned as “nitianerwei (逆天而为)” which means to do something against tianming. Simply put, yuanfen can be interpreted as an aspect of tianming that is in charge of everyone’s relationships.

In real life, I notice that many Chinese people may use the word yuanfen mostly to describe relationships between lovers. It is often used as a romantic way of biaobai 表白 (showing love) in both real life and in literary works. It is important to note that the meaning of this word is not so narrow and here are two points I would like to elaborate on.

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/adult-affection-beads-blur-371285/

Firstly, the range of relationships that can be attributed to yuanfen is quite broad. Yuanfen can refer to interpersonal relationships: between lovers, friends, relatives, teachers and students, and even strangers. Also, it can even refer to relationships with non-human and even non-living things. For example, I can say that I have yuanfen with one specific heishuiji 黑水鸡 (moorhen) at DKU because I encounter it almost every day. Or, if I missed a student worker shift because my alarm clock didn’t work that morning, I would sigh: “I have no yuanfen with this job.”

Secondly, in fact, yuanfen not only can be used to describe positive relationships, but also can describe negative relationships, like the word nieyuan (孽缘) or xiongyuan (凶缘). ³ Usually, these words are used to describe relationships between enemies or relationships that are against ethics or social rules. In short, this magical word can be used to describe diverse relationships.

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How about contemporary China? As we have discussed, the word was frequently used in the past because people believed in the existence of tianming. However, nowadays Chinese people might not believe in such things, especially among youth. But why are we still using this word a lot? From my point of view, there are two main reasons for using the word in contemporary China.

Firstly, it is a way of expressing the strong emotions and intimacy of close relationships. Though we have gradually abandoned the idea of tianming, the word yuanfen is still being used to describe those relationships that are precious and important to us. Here is an example: “Wow, we have so many common hobbies, this is our yuanfen!” By saying so, you can convey to others the following information: It’s a great honor to meet you and I would like to keep a permanent relationship with you. Usually others will feel comforted by this declaration, and your relationship will be strengthened. We may also often hear this word in some opposite circumstances too, for example, when couples break up. It might read like this: “Just like a flower’s death, our yuanfen has come to an end (缘起缘落缘终尽，花开花落花归尘，我想我们的缘分到此为止了吧).” What the sentences convey is that (s)he might love you deeply even until now and feels sorry for the end of the relationship. Couples usually say so when they want to break up peacefully and still value the relationship. Above all, yuanfen is a tool for showing emotions of valuing past or current relationships.

Secondly, it is also often used as a social tool between strangers and even in diplomatic relations. Yuanfen is always a perfect choice as an icebreaker between strangers when they cannot find any similarities and common topics between each other. In this context, the word conveys that “I don’t know you before, and you don’t know me either. However, we are here together. Why? Oh, it’s yuanfen that brings us here!” It’s just like building an invisible bridge between two hearts and can help to narrow the gap between two strangers quickly. ⁴ Recently, it has been raised to the level of a diplomatic tool by the government. President Xi mentioned many times in international forums that all countries should “Make more friends and develop more yuanfen (广交朋友，广积善缘).” In this case, yuanfen has become a tool for narrowing the gaps on a higher level. In short, yuanfen is a tool for showing friendliness and respect.

No matter whether it is showing the emotion of valuing relationships or friendliness and respect, contemporary yuanfen has significant differences with the ancient meaning. First, since most people don’t believe in tianming anymore, yuanfen has become something that is determined by oneself instead of others. In other words, we can control our own yuanfen with effort. In the past, we waited for yuanfen. But now, we seek yuanfen by ourselves. ⁵ This great shift could reflect a shift in Chinese culture as well. In the past, the value of every individual tended to be denied and people had to follow the gangchanglunli 纲常伦理 (rules and ethics) in everything they did. People didn’t have the right to become acquainted with anyone they wanted. The differences in social class became a great barrier for people to seek the relationships they wanted and they had to comfort themselves by believing that “yuanfen hasn’t come yet (缘分未至).” But now after several rounds of ideological emancipation in China, the value of each individual is finally becoming widely recognized. Nowadays, Chinese people have gained the freedom that was restricted by traditions in the past. Yuanfen is more like a right than a rule in the contemporary social background.

Besides, yuanfen now refers mostly to something positive, and the negative usage of it has been gradually forgotten. Few people would mention words like nieyuan or xiongyuan since these words seem cruel and might hurt people’s feelings. That could reflect Chinese people’s emphasis on renqing 人情 (people’s feelings) as well. One of the primary social principles in China is to be prudent while speaking and avoid using words that might upset others. So, like many other words, the negative meaning of yuanfen was removed automatically by people. Up until now, yuanfen has become a safe social language which is proper to say on most occasions.

In conclusion, I believe that the word yuanfen is a cultural keyword in China. According to linguist Sophia Waters, a cultural keyword is made with the perfect recipe: it is salient, ubiquitous, untranslatable, and reflects important cultural values. ⁶ As we can see, yuanfen qualifies by that definition. Firstly, it is widely used by people of different generations in China. Secondly, there is almost no such word in other languages that has similar meanings. Thirdly, it reflects both traditional Chinese ideology and the art of modern Chinese communication. After reading this article, I hope that both Chinese readers and foreign readers can get to know a little more about the origin of yuanfen and its connection with the faith in tianming. Also, I hope that every foreign reader can learn how to use such a versatile word in your daily communication with Chinese locals. Whether you want to build closer relationships or you want to make new friends, just use it!

If you happen to read my article and like it, congratulations! 我们很有缘分!

Editor | Elisabeth Ursell
Layout | Liu Haiyi 刘海一 He Siyue 何思樾

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Wu Ruitian (吴睿天) is a student in DKU’s Class of 2023, majoring in data science. He wrote this essay in Austin Woerner’s EAP102A course in Spring 2020, and he has a strong interest in Chinese culture.

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