Before the beginning of my Duke Engage program, I made efforts to prepare myself for the discrepancies between my own American perspective and what I would experience once I arrived in Jordan. But no amount of studying is a replacement for hearing people’s personal stories. 

I came to Jordan to work as a software intern for ILearn. This is not necessarily a job that I have to do in person—my coworkers and I often work from cafes rather than going into the office. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking to myself about why exactly I flew halfway around the world to work on a project that I could’ve done from home. And now, about two weeks in, I believe that I do have to be here to properly engage with the nuanced perspectives that exist as the context for the work that I’m doing. Since arriving in Amman, I’ve heard a wealth of perspectives from everyone I’ve met. There is a stark difference between caring about the identity of Jordanians and the suffering of Palestinians as an American hearing about their lives only through news, and as a person for whom these issues are facts of their everyday lives.

A week after arriving in Jordan we visited Abu Faras. He lives on a farm where he operates an NGO called Peace Wadi. After picking us up by the side of the road, he drove us past the Baptism Site of Christ and then to his property, past his grove of date palms and to his home. Faras is from Palestine, but had to move to Jordan at a young age. Now, he is not able to return. His front porch looks out across the Jordan River at Jericho—he is able to see where he was born, even though he cannot visit. I had already known about the inability of Palestinians to freely cross the border, but the injustice of it still struck me when we were visiting Faras: as an American citizen, I may freely cross into and out of Palestine with very little difficulty. But for Faras, who lives within sight of the city where he grew up, it is currently a legal impossibility to go back. 

We heard a slightly different perspective that same week, when we spoke with Palestinian-American journalist Daoud Kuttab. Kuttab was born in Jerusalem, and since then has worked in America, Palestine, and Jordan. Kuttab’s perspective led me to think more about the reality of reconciling personal identity with geopolitical possibility. Despite his pragmatic approach to this issue, he expressed that he believes the Palestinian cause is a beautiful one; but he also does not see a way for this to translate into political change without some compromises. Speaking with Kuttab made me think about the importance of both personal emotional approaches and pragmatic political approaches to this issue, and also led me to consider the difference between short-term and long-term contributions, and direct and indirect ways of addressing the situation. As a software intern, the work that I do will mainly be used to indirectly help people who have already been displaced into Jordan by the conflict. It will not do anything to put an end to the occupation, or to help people who are currently suffering in Palestine. That does not make this work any less valuable—it is work that there is a need for, and that should be done. But this approach alone cannot solve the problems at the root of this crisis. 

I feel so incredibly privileged to be in Jordan right now, working with people who have a variety of backgrounds and perspectives. I hope to continue learning, gain a more nuanced perspective, and make myself as useful as possible.