Category: Week 8

A week has passed since we said goodbye to Korea. It feels like a dream. While fighting jet lag, I have had time to rest, eat home food, and tell my family and friends about this summer. I am very grateful for having been given the opportunity to partake in this program. I have never felt that two months could be so meaningfully spent. Besides the experience of living in a country that is far from home, what made it really special was the people I met through this experience.

 

Gwangju and Ganghwado

On the last week of the program, we visited Gwangju, the capital of Jeolla province, which was a 3-hour-drive from Seoul. Days before the trip, we all watched a Korean movie named “A Taxi Driver”. It captures the tragedy of the May 18 Gwangju Uprising through the eyes of a taxi driver, and it served as a good lead-in to a historical event that we would learn more about in Gwangju. Gwangju was quiet and undisturbed, which shockingly contrasted the footage of the violence from 1980, when the police brutally attacked the protesters demonstrating against martial law. To conclude the excursion, we had the privilege of saluting the deceased citizens at the May 18th National Cemetery.

On Thursday, we went on a day-trip to Ganghwa Island, located in the Northwest. We did a lot of walking, and we got to appreciate the diverse architecture, which included a fortress and an Anglican catholic church. We were also in close proximity to North Korean territory and in fact we could see their farmlands from particular spots on the island.

This week helped us appreciate Korea’s rich culture and history even more. We had time to reflect upon our seven weeks in Seoul as well as spend valuable time with our professors.

 

Reflecting on Teaching

The true highlight of these eight weeks was teaching the students at Jiguchon and Woorideul. Each group we taught presented us with various challenges and unique senses of achievement. 

Jiguchon School

Despite being only one year apart, second and third grade at Jiguchon were very different. Second grade was perhaps the hardest class to manage, due to the size and the rowdy behavior of the children. Most of the time, we struggled to gain their attention, and I think games were most effective with this group. Third grade, on the other hand, was disciplined and relatively more interested in learning English. All of the kids were lovely and welcomed us each day with smiles and excitement. We tried our best to reciprocate that positive energy with enthusiasm.

Teaching the multicultural class was also a joy. These students have spent the least amount of time in Korea, and it has been an honor to teach them during their process of adaptation to living in a foreign country and learning Korean. Sixth grade was the first class we taught, and we realized right away that some of the games we had prepared were not adequate. Despite spending the least amount of time teaching this group, I think I was closest to them, and by the end of our time at Jiguchon I saw them like younger brothers and sisters.

Finally, middle school. These students are perhaps the ones who have it the hardest. Some of their stories shocked me, and it is touching to see that even through hardship these students are still coming to school, developing relationships with their teacher, and having friends to have fun with and rely on. This group of students exhibit great camaraderie. It is a pleasure to see how they are all trying to help each other out. I remember how some of the students who were more comfortable with English or Korean would translate for the classmates to help them understand and follow what we were saying. We spent the most time with these students, and they hold a special place in our hearts. I will fondly remember talking about feeling “out of place” with my students. We will always be rooting for you!

Woorideul School

Our last two weeks at Woorideul were just as meaningful. My preconceived notion of North Korean defectors was proved wrong. The students I worked with were around the same age as me, and it was surprisingly easy to connect with them. We had similar interests and a shared humor code. I feel like I made long-lasting friendships with them. Even if I don’t see them again, my only hope is that these students do not forget us, as we will not. 

 It was inspiring to see how the students at Woorideul, despite being in a position of disadvantage (due to their life circumstances and their educational background), have goals and are working hard to achieve them. They are applying for college, searching internships, and studying English to pass their General Education exam. Their motivation is something I should learn from.

The administration and the teachers in both schools also deserve recognition. They welcomed us into an unfamiliar environment, and did their best to make us feel entitled to be teachers. Thank you for being an inspiration, your job is truly admirable.

 

Final Thoughts 

The lectures at the Unification Center, the guided visits to different museums and the weekly group meetings have expanded my knowledge and interest on the themes proposed by the Duke Engage South Korea program. While engaging in different activities, I was constantly invited to think about topics on North Korean politics and immigration in South Korea. I know much more but at the same time I leave with many unanswered questions. 

On the last day at the airport, Thomas asked what our favorite moment of this trip was. In retrospect, it is very hard to pick out a single moment. These two months have been enriching in so many facets. I half-jokingly said that my favorite moment was when we were lesson planning as a group. Despite the stress involved in making decisions as a group of eight, I chose this moment because the main reason why this experience has been a success was the group itself.

Living in the same house for eight weeks and spending most of the day teaching, eating, lesson planning and exploring the city together takes something special. Frustrations obviously arose from time to time, but in definitive terms we all cared about each other. Even if we sometimes jokingly denied it, I think we all really did enjoy each other’s company. By the end of this trip, I feel that we are like a family. This is why I say thank you to Erin, Daniel, Emily, Shey, Martin, Thomas and Nikki and why I say that it has been a privilege to spend the summer with you. I also want to thank our professors for caring for us and pushing us to do better. Thank you for your patience, and for all the work you put behind the scenes. We truly appreciated your guidance.

Beyond the practical goals of volunteer service (teaching the alphabet, providing resources), I believe I underestimated the value of community engagement before this summer. After spending weeks with our community partners (mostly students), I came to realize how impactful interacting with the community can be. By sharing experiences, expressing our worries and talking about our interests, we realized we all had much more in common than I had expected. 

If someone told me to predict what this experience would have been like two months ago, not even half of it would be true. I think that is what made this trip so special. I encountered a lot of emotions that I would not have expected to come across. I leave Korea perhaps taking more from it than what I had to give. Hopefully, it has been the same for our students.

So thank you to all the people who made DESK2019 a memory that I will forever treasure!~

— Le

As I gazed across the endless rows of tombstones, the nagging thought returned to my head.  For the last week, our group had been learning about the 1980 Gwangju Uprising, a horrific massacre during which Dictator Chun Doo Hwan had sent paratroopers to quell student protests resulting in the murders of over 100 protestors and hundreds of fatal casualties.  Watching Jang Hoon’s A Taxi Driver and visiting the interactive museums in Gwangju, it was made very apparent to me how young most of the protestors were.  Most were my age or younger, fighting valiantly against a corrupt regime, risking their lives to ensure a just system for their countrymen and future generations.  Contrasted to the apathy I saw within my generation of peers, both in the United States and even those in South Korea now, I began to question whether I had ever felt so strongly about anything in my life.

 

Duke Engage in South Korea immersed me in not only a vibrant and bustling city but the steadily simmering turmoil of the immigrant experience in Seoul.  Every day, surrounded by signs I could not read and the din of conversations I could not understand, I could only imagine how difficult living here would be for a child whose parents were away at work.  Working with these kids began to reinforce what I had experienced my entire life as a child of war refugee parents and as a volunteer who worked with those populations in the states as well.  Working with the middle schoolers made me realize that what I had been doing in this program and in the states (tutoring and teaching English) was not enough. While it’s a step in the right direction towards lingual integration, the alienation of being different and of being neglected by an apathetic society requires more.  This trip has made it abundantly clear to me that I can and need to do more to help alleviate the many obstacles that refugees and their children face, whether in the United States or Korea, and I am sure that continuing to work with the Kenan Refugee Project at Duke will be a step in the right direction.

 

It’s been exactly a week since I’ve landed back in the U.S. but the last two months rewind through my head everyday.  In the time that I’ve been back, I’ve been asked countless times “How was Korea?”, “Did you like the food?”, “How were the kids?”.  Simple questions that could not come remotely close to encapsulating every moment of laughter, tears, relief, and connection I experienced on this trip.  To be honest, the sum of our collective experiences could not fit into 1000 blog posts.  The sights, scents, tastes of the city and the relationships we forged will stay with me for the rest of my life.

 

This is not a journey that I could have undertaken alone.  By my every step was program director Professor Kim Haeyoung, site coordinator Kim Eunyoung, and my peers.

 

To the Kims, thank you so much for, first, allowing me this amazing opportunity and, second, ensuring that I would be able to capitalize on every single second of it.  From ensuring I had a proper diet to answering every single question we all had to introducing us to the food and culture of South Korea, I cannot begin to express my gratitude.  Every excursion and outing was extremely insightful and the worries of Korea, from reunification to politics now run through my mind.

To Daniel, Emily, Erin, Sheyann, Thomas, Leandro, and Nikki, I know it seemed like I joked about how this was the “perfect group” but, for me, it really was. Each of you brought so many different personalities, ideas, and backgrounds to our group, not only sharing all of that with the kids but me as well.  I am humbled to have learned from all of you about Korean, craft beers, video games, and basic hygiene.  This trip would not have been the same without each and every one of you.

To the teachers of Jiguchon and Wooriduel, please never stop.  The work you do is so so necessary.  To help these students persevere against all the adversity they face is a gargantuan task and to watch you come in every single day without fail is truly inspiring.  Thank you for spreading joy and hope to not only the students, but to us as well.

To the kids of Jiguchon and to my young men in Wooriduel… Thank you for allowing me to be a kid again.  From playing datchi, jumping rope, dancing, waging war with our thumbs, and so much more, you accepted an outsider who could not speak your language.  I can barely speak two languages and watching many of you learn English as your third (or even fourth) language blows my mind.  Your drive to learn, even in the atrangest of circumstances, has been impressed on me.  There is so much more I want to say to each of you but I will do so at your graduations ;).

Someone once said, “Don’t cry ‘cause it’s over, smile ‘cause it happened.”

It’s been the best eight weeks ever, but even good things must end.

And so now that I must bid this program adieu,

It’s finally time that I say a few thank you’s.

 

At the start of this trip, the first thing I remember,

Is the time we spent at the Reunification Center.

Thank you to “The Butler,” who made our stay pleasant.

Our time here has taught me of issues at present.

All thanks to the professors, who taught us all about

The woes of the Koreas and the reasons for their bout.

 

On my first day at Jiguchon

I didn’t know what to expect.

My first impression of the kids

Was that they were quite hectic.

 

Time passed as we planned lesson after lesson.

Soon it would be time for our first teaching session.

I wanted the kids to love learning,

For me, their affection was my yearning.

 

The fifth grade was the first class that I taught.

Three teachers, eight students. What could go wrong?

Things went smoothly, why would they not?

The only con was that the week was three days long.

 

But in those three days, I still got to know the students well.

So a thank you to them too, before I say farewell.

 

To Chris, Robert, Jordan, and Martha.

Annie, Peter, Tony, and Sofia.

Thank you for being ever so polite.

Teaching everyone of you was an absolute delight.

And all though our time together was cut short

Thank you all for staying so alert.

 

The next week I worked with the third grade.

There were few worries this time

Since our lesson plan was already made.

And what can I say? The kids were sublime.

 

To Miyeon, Yoorim, Tony, Mandy and Jack.

Thank you for being so well behaved.

Don’t tell anyone else but

This might have been my favorite grade.

 

Thank you to the Multicultural class

For your undying energy and attention.

More than any other class this taught me

How without language there can still be communication.

 

I taught the second graders

For my last week at the school.

By far my biggest class.

By far my biggest mess.

 

But still, to all the “jits” I’m thankful.

Through all the trouble they made

They taught me the value of patience

A virtue that with me will always stay.

 

Fast forward to our time at Woorideul.

Where I had a class unlike any other.

Much to my own surprise,

I had a class full of only mothers.

 

But as much as I was patient with my jits.

I thank my students for being patient with me.

Different in age, gender, and country of origin

We still found a way to learn our ABC’s.

 

Now there a few people that perhaps

Because I spent with them the most time

It’s not sufficient to thank them

Through these silly rhymes.

 

To all my middle schoolers:

 

Thank you for being the reason I get up in the morning; our time together is always the highlight of my day. I cherish the memories we made in that class; you all always found a way to make teaching a joy, from playing “Never Have I Ever” to reading Old Man and the Sea. The best days of my summer where the days I spent teaching you, and the worst day of the summer was when we had to say goodbye. I hope the lessons we planned for you were effective and that you learned lots of English. I know that you all taught me lots of Chinese and Korean. Know that wherever your paths take you, I will always be cheering for you. 화이팅!

 

Admittedly, I spent more time with some middle schoolers than I did others, and they deserve their own individual mentions.

 

To Jiyoung:

 

Your ability to translate for me in that class was invaluable. You’re a polyglot in the making and one of the brightest minds I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. There’s no doubt in my mind that whatever you set your mind to you will succeed in. Go be the best social worker there ever was. The only regret I have about our time together is that I feel that I didn’t teach you as much as I wanted to . . . but that’s only because you knew so much.

 

To Changrim:

 

I’m sorry you were the only boy in our class. I can imagine it was awkward for you, but thanks for sticking with the class. I know you’d much rather be playing video games at a PC Bang but I appreciate the fact that you still always paid attention . . . even though you were probably thinking about playing video games at PC Bang.

 

To Hyunju:

 

Thank you for opening up to me. For a long time I was worried that the two of us would never be close, but at the end of it all, I can’t imagine anyone with whom I’m closer. Thank you for all the drawings you drew of me. I still resent the fact that you nicknamed me 돼지 똥 (meaning “pig poop”) but I’m sure you equally resent the fact that I nicknamed you 똥 돼지 (meaning “poop pig”). It might be unclear for you about what you want to do in the future, but whatever path you choose I will always be cheering for you.

 

To Nayoung:

 

I know I say Jiyoung was the translator for the class, but I know it’s you who really wants to be a translator. Of everyone in the class no one was as interested in learning as you, and I’m so thankful that you were so eager to learn everyday. Thank you for telling me what you thought I wanted to hear. I hope that I put a smile on your face as big as the one you put on mine everyday.

 

To Soryeong:

 

Thank you for your charming wit. On the hardest days you always found a way to make me laugh. Thank you for making my time feel valuable in that you always made it seem to me that you were learning something you truly found useful. Perhaps because you’re so talented in so many different areas that I don’t know what to expect you’ll turn out to be in the future.

 

To the teachers and administrators at Jiguchon and Woorideul:

 

It’s amazing what you’ve done with these schools and the time and effort you invest everyday to make the lives of the less fortunate better. The care and patience you exhibited with the students still amazes me, and I can only aspire to match your level of professionalism

 

To both of the 김 선생님’s:

 

Thank you so much for everything. It was probably a nightmare to handle the eight of us but you managed to do it, not to mention you do this every summer. I have fond memories of all the cultural and historical outings we’ve had, and the reflection and individual meetings we have have all been very insightful. For guiding us during our stay in Korea, thank you.

 

And now I’d like to give my thanks to the fellow Duke Engagers that set out on this journey with me. Ladies first, of course.

 

To Erin:

 

You pushed me the hardest out of anyone else. At times, I felt, maybe a little too hard, but you did it because you wanted to bring out the best of me, and I will always appreciate you for that. You’re the groups fearless and outspoken leader and you made the hardest choices for the group so we didn’t have to. You handled even the rowdiest situations we ran into with the kids with grace and discipline and I’ll always be jealous of how good of a teacher you are. Thank you for always looking out and taking care of us.

 

To Emily: 

 

Through the darkest times you always put on the brightest smile. You never let the kids see your fatigue or your worries. The amount of effort you put into teaching is unmatched and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who cares about kids more. No matter how big, you always volunteered to rise up to the challenge, let alone in a country in which the language and customs were foreign to you. You truly exemplify the belief that not a minute should be wasted, as you use every spare moment you had to explore the country, learn Korean, or better think about how to teach the kids. I found a role model in you for your work ethic alone.

 

To Sheyann:

 

No one has ever been able to make me dance until you. Thank you for finding the excitement in everything and helping me see the best of everything. You brought out a side of me I didn’t know existed. The love you had for your jits is one of the most heartwarming things, and I’ll miss you dearly when you study abroad at Yonsei.

 

To Nikki:

 

Meh.

 

Just kidding. The fact that we flew back home together made you the last person I had to say goodbye to, and believe it or not, for me that was the hardest. As the 막내 of the group I shouldn’t be surprised that you also happen to be the biggest crybaby so I’ll make this quick. One of the things that brought tears to your eyes the most was having to say goodbye. And I get it. The idea that a way of life you’ve spent everyday of the last two months is coming to an end sucks. But the work you’ve done. The incredible impact you’ve had on the kids. The friendships you’ve made. When you’re sad that DESK is over, remember that these things will last forever. 

Good luck editing your blog Nikki “fluffedlionsforeverx” Delmolino. You better make me look good or I’ll take out your ey-

 

To Daniel:

 

Never have I met a man so wise beyond his years. Your knowledge extends across many fields—from fine eating (and drinking) to classical music—and you made sure to pass on that knowledge to us all. The only thing that’s drier than your humor is a bad bowl of 삼계탕. 

 

To Martin:

 

No one made me laugh more this trip. Through thick (tonkotsu lol) and thin, you found the humor in everything. Even more importantly, you were a role model for how to teach and connect with kids without language. The sense of adventure and exploration you have amazes me and I’m honored to have you as my eating challenge buddy.

 

To Leandro:

 

Truly I have never met a person more gentle and kind than you. The way you were so tender and loving to the kids was adorable, and it’s no wonder they mistakenly called you 형 and 오빠 instead of 샘. In a lot of ways I thought we were scary similar; you especially remind me of myself a few years ago. A soul as gentle and pure as yours only comes once a millennia, so always stay precious.

 

And now that all my goodbyes, thanks, and praise

Are out of the way, you might want to know:

Is this the last time we’ll all meet again?

And to that I give a resounding “balls no.”

 

8012 

 

—Thomas Jeong

8 weeks. 

 

 ~ Out of all of the words the Korean tutor taught me this summer, the one that I’ve never forgotten since I first learned it is “시원섭섭해” (siwonseobseobhae), or having mixed emotions. I guess the English translation would be something similar to bittersweet. As the end of our time in Korea has gotten closer, this is the word that most matches how I feel.~

Written the Sunday before we left Korea.

Now, after returning to the US, all I want to do is go back. Regardless of the stress, near mental breakdowns every late Sunday night as we wrapped up lesson planning, and the unabiding nervousness before I entered the classroom, all I have are good memories. 

 

In the pre-departure surveys we were given, I vaguely remember typing all my expectations. I expected to grow as a person. Vague, but check. I expected to learn a lot more about teaching. Check-ish: 8 weeks later and I learned how hard it is to teach and why there are actual degrees and licenses required (there’s a lot more to it than just having lesson plans and a load of activities). I don’t remember what else I typed, but I know I personally expected to struggle a lot. But that comes later.

 

Quick Wrap-Up of the Last Week

Monday and Tuesday were spent in Gwangju, a city in Southwestern Korea best known for its pro-democracy protest in 1980 after a military coup. 

On Thursday, we had a day trip to Ganghwa-do, an island with countless hilltop temples and a close view of the North Korean border.

On Friday, Shey, Leandro, and I went on the optional field trip to Seoul National University, where we explored the campus physically and historically and spent an hour walking through the university’s archives. 

 

 

Final Thoughts

LANGUAGE USE AND EDUCATION

When asked what my greatest worry for the program was, I replied “Language.” From past experience, I know that it’s entirely possible to form emotional connections without a shared language (games are magical). This summer has only further proved to me that even without being able to understand others verbally, there are hundreds of other ways to enjoy socialization and become more comfortable with people. However, the power of language cannot be overlooked, something that became incredibly apparent as we taught the Jiguchon middle schoolers. 

 

Although I had more experience with Korean and Chinese than others on the program, I still felt completely overwhelmed at times from not being able to understand, let alone communicate or translate. It felt that every other conversation was cut short by lack of understanding, and I felt like I made communication processes a lot longer sometimes (oh, sorry say that again…. What??? One more time… uhhh Emily/Erin helppp). At one point in the middle of the program, my frustrations reached the point where I didn’t want to open my mouth at all…something I saw reflected in the students. 

 

I discussed in an earlier blog post of mine that the lack of motivation in our classroom came from a lack of connection and not necessarily a lack of wanting to know. This was something I related to a lot over the course of the trip, and in turn helped me to connect better with my students over our shared struggle with language. Some students were much more open to me after I stumbled through instructions in Korean (an attempt is better than nothing), and Chinese students at Wooridul would instantly light up whenever I tried speaking to them in Chinese. While communicating non-verbally, or even through a shared second language helps create bonds and can allow for general comprehension, speaking in someone’s first language hits their heart.

 

I think that another great power of this program (besides mixed language background, diverse experiences, native English speakers teaching, etc. the whole shebang) is sheer numbers. We had the unique ability to split ourselves up as we saw fit and had the opportunity to speak with, play with, and simply spend time with individual students and get to know them on a deeper, more personal level. While regular teachers still can form individual connections with students, it’s much harder, and it’s so much more difficult to teach. There are no satellite teachers walking around the classroom to make sure kids pay attention, and if a couple kids finish an assignment too fast, or if others are struggling, there is only one person who can help at a time. As the summer progressed, we all learned the power of this one-on-one interaction, which, I think, is desperately needed in the education system (especially with younger students) as a whole.

 

IDENTITY

Even though I’ve been to Korea before, I never really comprehended how my appearance factored into people’s expectations of me until this summer. Living in a country with a homogeneous population and being very not Korean-looking really put identity into perspective.

 

When I came to Korea last year, looking foreign was met only with curiosity and confused conversations with people on public transportation. Since I was in Jeonju at the time — a city with much less of a foreign population, and therefore less standardized English usage, I was required to speak in Korean regardless of my appearance and felt much less outsidery. However, while in Seoul, I sometimes became painfully aware that I was a foreigner. Whether it be someone staring a little too long to be comfortable on the subway, a hurtful comment by a passing stranger, or a cashier who would call a coworker over so they wouldn’t have to speak English to me, I understood that their expectations for me were defined simply by my outward appearance. 

 

I wouldn’t say this was a problem for me (people were still very kind and helpful, and it was cool seeing people’s reactions whenever I surprised them by speaking in Korean), but it was something I grew to be aware of largely because of our students. Our students, most being ethnically mixed or non-Korean, largely identified as Korean. Regardless of what other languages they spoke, or what their ethnic backgrounds were, they felt like they were the same as any other Korean. But they will probably have to spend their lives constantly trying to convince people and prove that they are Korean. Identity is incredibly malleable and isn’t dictated by any one element of a person, but for these students (and us non-Koreans on the DukeEngage team), everything is assumed by just a look. Their capabilities, experiences, and thoughts are decided for them. 

 

I talk about these lessons in the context of our students because I feel like I was pushed to experience life more actively for their sakes. Relating to and learning about my students helped me to move past bouts of stress and hopelessness, and their optimism despite all obstacles was so encouraging for me, it’s impossible not to intertwine them with my personal growth on all levels.

THE END

I have so many more things to say — there’s no real way to encapsulate everything I’ve learned from this experience and from the people I’ve met, and I definitely could write a novel (or memoir, or something) — but time to finish.

 

Thank you to the Kim 선생님s for treating us like your own children. When we were sick, you bought us medicine and Vitamin C pouches, and regularly checked in to make sure we were okay. Every week, you bought us different fruits, snacks, and ice creams for break times and reflection meetings, all from the kindness of your hearts. When I wasn’t getting to eat as much (vegetarians in Korea, wooo!), you took me to restaurants I could eat at and bought me separate meals. Thank you for being concerned for our mental and physical wellbeing and giving us so much advice about teaching every time we hit a metaphorical wall in the classroom.

 

To the seven friends I spent 24/7 with: I think you all know how much I care for and appreciate you guys (I cried enough, ew). Our last night in Korea, we all sat by the Han River eating our sad bowls of ramen for our final meal and asked each other what word or phrase we would use to best describe the entire trip. While I don’t think we got a serious answer from anyone, all of the responses (“naiseu”, “rheeee”, “don’t smile because it’s over, smile because it happened”), and shared jokes are reminiscent of the hundreds of memories we’ve made together. Each of you have made me laugh (and made my day) a countless number of times, and your advice is A+. You guys have taught me so much about true friendship and trust (and helped me figure myself out a lot too hehe), and I feel like I’m a better person for knowing you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will miss our crazy dynamic in Korea, but we’re going to still see each other at Duke (I’ll make sure of it!!!) so until next time. ~

 

Korea and my DukeEngage team: I love you 1400. **

 

** to quote one of the best lines from Avengers: End Game, the movie that all of our students loved so much. The line “I love you 3000” references the total number of minutes in the Marvel movies, to symbolize the end of the era. As this is another end, one that matters so much more to me than my childhood movie universe, I thought it was only fitting to end with the approximate number of hours we’ve spent together.

-Nikki

니키 

 

“…길고 긴 여행을 끝내 이젠 돌아가…” –

“…the long journey has ended and now I return…”

 

When I applied to DukeEngage South Korea, I really didn’t know what to expect.  I knew that it would be educational. I knew that it would be hard. I knew that it would be fantastic.  What I didn’t know was that I would learn more about my Korean heritage than I would have ever expected. My understanding of North-South Korean relations was broadened and expanded during our stay at the Reunification Education Center. I was able to visit Gwangju and Ganghwa for the first time to learn more about my heritage’s rich history and expand my assumptions and existing knowledge about the Korean people (more on that later).  What I didn’t know was that life still rolls on around you even while you are teaching the students that you love but who are experiencing some of the most difficult circumstances that anyone could ever imagine. Teaching is not only physically taxing, but mentally and emotionally consuming. Sometimes, I didn’t have the energy to teach or I couldn’t help but break down when I felt overwhelmed. But probably the thing I really didn’t know, and perhaps the most important thing that I learned is how rewarding my experience would be during DukeEngage South Korea.

 

DukeEngage South Korea’s first meal together as a team in South Korea.

 

Gwangju and Ganghwa Island

Personally, learning about the Gwangju Uprising and actually going to visit the city itself was a very powerful moment during our two months in DukeEngage South Korea.  The Gwangju Uprising, or May 18th as it is referred to in South Korea, occurred in 1980 during the aftermath of the long-running dictatorship of Park Jeong Hee and the ascendance of Chun Doo Hwan.  Chun enforced an “emergency” martial law all over the country but college students in Gwangju rebelled. The military response to the demonstrations with South Korean paratroopers were so violent and cruel that the entire city and its citizens raised up in full protest against the South Korean military.  For ten days, Gwangju citizens fought, young and old alike, against the military but due to the extreme censoring at the time, most of South Korea and the world had no idea what was going on. Still today, Gwangju citizens feel the ache of lives lost and missing due to the events in May of 1980. However, what is most admirable and powerful about learning about this event is the pride and dedication of Gwangju’s citizens.  During our visits to the memorials and museums, I couldn’t help but admire the stories about the taxi and bus drivers who drove out into the chaos to rescue the injured or the passionate quotes from the very students who had led the uprising. It was an honor and a privilege to pay respects to those who had passed at the May 18th National Cemetery.

We all had the honor of paying our respects at the May 18th National Cemetery.

As someone who had grown up in Seoul and had never really travelled to many other areas in South Korea, it was fascinating to actually see for myself the differences between Seoul and Gwangju and their citizens.  I was curious about the sociological legacy of the Gwangju uprising was surprised to find out that even today some people hold suspicions about Gwangju citizens. Economically, the southeastern side of South Korea is more advanced than its western side.  I also noticed this because being in Gwangju reminded me of what Seoul looked like more than ten years ago. The fashion trends of Seoul seemed to not have fully embedded themselves in Gwangju, and even the food tastes different. However, differences do not indicate that one is somehow better than the other.  If anything, I was ecstatic to see that even in South Korea, a country that is barely the size of New Jersey, has such cultural diversity and individuality.

Going to Ganghwa Island was an enriching experience because there was a whole other area of foods and historical landmarks I had never seen before.  We got to try large-eyed herring, a specialty of the area, and pumpkin rice punch (which is quite different from regular rice punch). I think one of the most iconic things we got to see was the first Anglican Church of Ganghwa Island.  The architecture was incredibly unique because it was a mix of traditional Korean and Western styles. We also learned about how Ganghwa Island has almost been the gateway during invasions and battles with countries like Japan, France, and even the United States, because of its access into the Imjin and Han River.

 

DESK members at a Buddhist temple on Ganghwa Island.

다시 만날 때… (When I see you again…)

I mean, Gwangju and Ganghwa Island were great and all, but I’m definitely stalling on providing my last thoughts about DukeEngage South Korea 2019.  (I’m actually very horrible at goodbyes. I tend to just overlook them and convince myself that this goodbye is pointless because, I mean, of course we’ll see each other again right?  I’m working on it haha.) I’m probably going to be that DukeEngage-er, “DukeEngage was best summer I’d ever had” or “DukeEngage was a turning point in my life.”  But, you know, it was. I guess to put it simply: I loved it. I had an absolute blast. Even with the strange hours and the hardships of teaching, it was the most amazing experience.  I don’t really want to go home.

But that’s the thing.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my very long twenty years of life (shhh I know, I know, I’m still very young, it’s called being ironic haha), home is where and what you make it.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, DukeEngage South Korea was home.  Granted I guess it’s much easier for me to say that compared to the other DESK members because I’ve lived here before, I speak the language, my extended family still lives here, I’m Korean, yada yada.  But I think I may understand more than anyone what our students who we’ve taught this summer have to go through sometimes. I know what’s it like to be South Korean, but you’re also…not. I know what it’s like the minute that you trip over a word or make any indication that you’re not “fully” South Korean that people will switch to English with you or make assumptions about you because you’re not “really Korean.”  

Don’t get me wrong, my years in South Korea were completely different than the experiences of the students of Jiguchon or Woorideul.  I was privileged in many ways: socially, economically, etc. But I know what it feels like to so desperately want somewhere to feel like home but having to fight the assumptions and prescriptions from other people about who you are and where you are from.  And I think there wasn’t really anything that I was able to convey or give my students about these kinds of things. If anything, they were the ones who solidified and reinforced my faith in being able to “be both.” One can be both Korean and Chinese.  Maybe Vietnamese and Korean.  Not North Korean or South Korean, just Korean.  Or maybe you are North Korean and that’s not South Korean.  Or maybe even Korean and American. You get to define you are, where you are from, and where home is.  

The last two months and the time I’ve spent with these students who I have connected to, has made DukeEngage South Korea 2019 home for me.  The professors Kims who took such good care of us and whether they tried to or not, we definitely felt like their children. They really taught us and took care of us so well.  And my DukeEngage team…

Wow.  Um.

I’m going to be a little selfish and spend a hot minute being a little mushy gushy about my team.  Even through all the little arguments and my (constant) nagging, I promise I have come to love each and every single one of you from the bottom of my heart.  I can’t help it, if I like you, you become mine forever (mwahahaha). But above all, you guys made South Korea more of a home than it has ever been before.    

So I guess my point is, it makes sense that I don’t want to go “home” back in Georgia or at Duke, because I’ve made a home for myself during DukeEngage South Korea 2019 thanks to our students, their teachers, our professors, and the entire team. 

 

But if there’s anything to know about “home,” it’s never really good-bye, because you always make your way back.

 

사랑합니다

감사합니다

 

“…너라는 집으로 지금 다시 way back home…”

“…back to the home that is you, I’ll be on my way back home again”

Way Back Home by Shaun

(Written on July 23rd, 2019)

 

Somehow, eight weeks have already passed, and we’re just two days away from leaving Korea and going home. It seems so strange to me. Where did all of the time go so quickly? It makes me sad and regretful that we’re already going to go. I wish there was more that I could have done, more time spent with the kids, more time that I could have spent learning more about this country. I’m the worst at goodbyes, and I know that when I get on the plane on Tuesday, this goodbye will be a hard one.

But before we get carried away into all of the “The Ends”, I wanted to reflect on the last few weeks.

 

Jiguchon: Middle School

Though I said goodbye to all of the elementary schoolers in my last post, we still had two more weeks with the middle schoolers. In the last two weeks, I think I became most attached to the kids. I think out of all of the goodbyes, this was the hardest.

The last day of middle school, we spent our time saying goodbye to our students. Nikki and I said goodbye to our English class. I’ll miss them a lot. Even though Jongsu and Jooeun only spoke Korean, I felt happy that they were in our class, and I felt like we got a little closer. Though I don’t know how much we were able to teach them for English, I hope that we were able to complete the middle school teacher’s goal of connecting with them and motivating them.

The middle school class performed for us. Their band (the one that we had heard every single day practicing during lunch time while we were still at Jiguchon) performed Way Back Home. The whole class sang along. The middle school teacher had joked about how they were all terrible singers, but I nearly cried during that performance. I’ll treasure that memory for a long time. We decided to also dance for the students, and then it was finally the hard part. Each of the teachers gave a speech to the middle school class about their thoughts on our time here, and our final goodbyes. Erin and I translated to Korean and Chinese. I’ll only talk about what I told the kids, but if you’re curious what everyone else talked about, I’m sure that if you read their blogs they might have mentioned it.

I think the first thing I told the kids was how much they meant to me. How grateful I was that they allowed me to be their teacher. How thankful I was that they had come to our classes full of energy, how they had always tried their best. How happy I was that they had showed us so much love. In some ways, I slowly began to think of them as younger brothers and sisters. They were so close in age to us, and we were getting so close to each other. Teaching middle school and getting to know the students was the best part of this trip. In many, many ways, Duke Engage South Korea was really tough. Being in this country not being able to speak or understand the language, being so far away from home, having to constantly be lesson planning and doing all of this other work I have to take care of—it really was tough. It exhausted me. But, what got me through it was the kids, particularly the middle schoolers. A lot of time, they were the highlight of my day. They motivated me to get out of bed in the morning when I was exhausted. When I became frustrated that I couldn’t speak the language, I thought about how they were going through the same thing, and it made me feel a little more hopeful, a little less lonely. They brought so much happiness and joy and hope into my life.

But beyond telling them how grateful I was, I told them what I hoped for them. How I truly believed in them, and that I thought they could achieve anything that they put their minds to. How I hoped that they would pursue their dreams, whatever that may be. I told them that though we would be far apart from each other, that they should know that we would always be somewhere, believing in their futures.

Cliché, I know. But I truly meant it.

Goodbyes are always tough. We went around and hugged and shook hands with all of the students. Nayoung and a lot of the other girls cried (and of course, I did too). I’ll miss them so much. And since I did it for the elementary schoolers, I wanted to have one (brief) final shoutout.

To Jiyoung, Nayoung, Soryeong, and Yeoeun (the four girls I got closest to):

Thank you for all of the time we spent together. For all of the laughter in our special English class, and all of the time we spent learning. I know the four of you all have hopes and dreams. Jiyoung, to be a social worker. Nayoung, a translator. Soryeong, a model. And Yeoeun, to go to college. I believe that you all have the skills, motivation, and drive to achieve your goals. So don’t give up. I’ll be cheering for you!

texted me later, after we left. I just wanted to share what she said (translated from Chinese) just because it really meant a lot to me:

“Teacher, these six weeks you really worked hard. Even though we’ve already separated, I still feel like our hearts are linked together. I trust that we will see each other again in the future. I will work hard and study to reach my goals, and I will think about you especially.

I have really gained a lot of courage. When I grow up and come to America, I will come find you. I hope that you live your life happily, and that everything goes smoothly in your life. I truly am thankful for you.”

I’ll end Jiguchon Middle School on that last note. Jiguchon, I’ll miss you.

 

 

Woorideul:

In many ways, Woorideul was much harder than Jiguchon. Our time was much shorter, the students were much older. My students happened to be around my age, but I know there were many students who were significantly older than the rest of us. Luckily, the language barrier was gone, since all of my students spoke Chinese. But in the short time that we had, I wonder how much we were able to teach them.

The students I had reminded me of the middle school students though. Both of my classes spoke Chinese the best, and then some could understand Korean. Their English levels varied a lot though. They spoke to each other all in Chinese, since that was what they were most comfortable with.

But regardless, we had fun as we learned. The students enjoyed playing the games that I had. We had good conversation about their favorite movies, and their favorite shows. I learned about their hometowns in China, and their favorite foods that they liked there. A lot of them missed home, understandably. They all seemed so excited when they were showing me pictures of food that I had never heard about, but they all urged me to try. Though our time was short and I couldn’t learn much, we were happy in the time we spent together.

In that sense, it was much easier to say goodbye to Woorideul. They gave us letters thanking us for the two weeks we spent together, and we exchanged hugs.

 

Duke Engage South Korea

So… where are we now? Now that this program is ending, my heart feels heavy. There were so many amazing memories I made on this trip. I met so many bright and talented students who I’ll miss dearly. I got to learn more about a country that will have a special place in my heart from now on. I was challenged—physically, mentally, emotionally. I feel like I have grown in so many ways. From so much failure and emotional turmoil, I have been forced to reflect on myself as a teacher and a person. The lessons that I learned will follow me forever, and for that I’m grateful.

Though we bickered and fought at times, I really had a great time being around all of you. Thank you for all of the amazing memories and the fun times. We taught together, ate together (or at least tried to), and got to know this country better. We laughed over the stupidest things together, and we made some very questionable decisions (sardines my goodness). Thank you for being there for me when things got rough. I’m grateful to have gotten to know each and every one of you. To the friendships that I’ve made, to the people that I’ve come to love and cherish, to the memories that will last me for a lifetime. It’s been an unforgettable experience.

I’d say that I’ll miss you all, but I’m sure that I’ll see you again.

 

Love,

Emily