I’ve wanted to visit South Korea since middle school, but never had the opportunity. When I found out about Duke Engage and saw that the program’s goals so perfectly aligned with my interests, I knew it was a sign to take a leap of faith and apply. I can say confidently now that taking a chance on Duke Engage was one of the best decisions of my lifetime.
During my first day in Seoul, I felt like I had stepped into a new world. I had never even had the chance to travel internationally, and here I was for the first time in a place I had only ever dreamed about. Looking back on the pictures I took on that first morning on the short walk to a cafe for breakfast, I feel strange. It’s that weird sort of nostalgia you get when you remember how naive you were the first time you saw a place that later becomes so familiar, the funny feeling you get when you think of how your perspective has shifted since that first encounter.
I feel similarly when I think about my crew members. Angel, who I thought I already knew so well but would later find a hundred more things to adore about. Jeanie, who went from the girl with the bright red hair to someone who always made me so comfortable when she was around, and who I always missed when she wasn’t. Riana, who I spent four semesters learning Korean with but never got to really know, and I’m so glad we got to be roommates because to know Riana is to know joy and strength and unwavering kindness. Kathy seemed reserved at first, but the more time we spent together the more I saw that she is actually unapologetically herself, and she became like a big sister to me who inspires me to be a better person. Sydney reminded me at a very important age that life is lived best when you let yourself cry hard and laugh harder, because feeling is what makes us who we are. Valerie seemed so cool the first time we met and as time went on I only admired her more, and because of her I want to try every day to have more faith in myself and the people around me. Nana taught me that you should never let fear or worry stop you from doing something that makes you happy. Matthew consistently got us lost in the subway but always made up for it in the end with his friendship. Josh surprised me every day with his courage and confidence, and never failed to make me laugh (sometimes at his own expense).
During those two months, I learned how to call these people and this place my home.
I have never felt more fulfilled in my life than I did while teaching English in Korea. On our first day at Jiguchon, I was intimidated and a little terrified. I feared it would be impossible to make a real impact in so little time. Yet with each passing day, little by little, the kids started to come out of their shells, and so did we. We learned as time went on that if we were open and honest with them, they would return the favor.
The students showed their appreciation for us in so many ways: in stickers gifted to us every day, worn proudly on our faces while we ate lunch together; in extra snacks bought in the subway station and saved to share with us when they got to school; in hand-made cards and candy and KakaoTalk messages that read “I miss you teacher!”; in greetings of hugs and bright smiles and enthusiastic waves. Their kindness has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.
Our trip to Jeju Island felt oddly like it was foreshadowing the end of the program. As we gathered all the knowledge we could and reflected on everything we’ve come to know, a sense of resolution slowly crept up on us. I remember feeling extremely emotional during those few days. While we breathed in the ocean air, sunk our teeth into juicy tangerines, drove around listening to soft ballads and climbed volcanos in the pouring rain, I was more present than ever. I appreciated the smiles of my crew mates and mentors a little more in those days, cherished simple things like the sound of our laughter and the feeling of being together. As we rode on the plane back to Seoul, the sky alight with a beautiful sunset, I was trying so hard to not be afraid of saying goodbye.
At our last team meeting, my crew member Nana said something that really touched me: “We will never be the same people, in the same place, at the same age ever again.” This experience was so unique because it wasn’t just finally getting to visit Korea – it was finding a purpose and finding a family in a place I had least expected it. I know that when I eventually return to Seoul, no visit will ever be as special as this one was. I feel so lucky to have been a part of Duke Engage 2023, and I will never forget it.
Finally, an excerpt from my journal during our last day in Seoul:
It rained all day in Seoul today, but I haven’t cried. The past two months have truly changed my life. They challenged everything I know about myself and showed me a hundred new ways to look at the world. When I listen to the music I’ve been hearing all summer, I can close my eyes and remember subway rides and walks through Hongdae. I can still taste vanilla bean lattes and convenience store gimbap. I already miss the lingering smells of street food and black coffee and summer heat. I hope I can hold onto these memories forever. I think it will take my heart some time to accept that this good thing had to come to an end.
With love,
Ryan Copeland
