His Excellency has been here for a month now, along with his lovely young wife, Yelena Andreyevna. Well, she’s quite nice-looking, anyway. She hasn’t spoken to me yet. Anyways, their presence, though delightful, has thrown the entire household into an uproar: Vanya has completely forgotten about his duties and pouts all day long, Sonya is bending backwards to compensate, and Marina Timofeyevna is all in a tizzy over the hours that Alexander keeps. Maria Vasilyevna is, of course, extremely happy that her son-in-law has returned, and makes a point to talk to him every chance she gets. Me, I’ve settled into our new routines, although I do confess that I am a bit miffed that his Excellency has not spent very much time with me as of yet. He’s got important work to keep up with, I understand, but still. We used to have such wonderful conversations, him and Vanya and me. Not so now, though. Vanya’s completely changed, I’m sad to say. He complains, mostly about his Excellency, and continuously moans about his life being wasted. I don’t really see what he’s so angry about. I’ve lived with him and Sonya and Marina Timofeyevna for almost thirty years now, and we’ve all dealt with our problems and work together. We’ve accomplished something wonderful, the maintenance of this beautiful estate and I think that’s worth something.
Today, Alexander has asked me to accompany him, Yelena, and Sonya on a walk around the estate, to which I have gladly said yes. Perhaps, now that they have gotten settled, things can go back to the way they once were.
****
The doctor is here tonight and I must confess, I do not appreciate it. He is a good man, I think, and truly is dedicated to his work, especially when it comes to his precious forests, but he is such a crude man. He and Vanya got drunk and caused such a rucus. Everyone was up and everyone was angry tonight, and they did not help one bit. Myself, I was trying to rest, because I need to help Sonya cut hay tomorrow morning, but no such luck. Mikhail Lvovich roused me at around one in the morning (can you imagine?) and had the gall to ask me to play for him, as if I was some musician for hire. I play my violin when I feel like it, thank you very much, not on the whim of some drunkard. It was neither the time nor the place, what with his Excellency feeling unwell.
Astrov’s presence always causes Sonya to act differently. She loves him, I think, though I am hardly an expert in these sorts of things. It’s very sad, really. They complement each other, and it is certainly a good pairing, but the doctor…I don’t think he is the type of man who will settle down with a wife. And, quite frankly, I think Sonya would be unhappy, no matter what she thinks right now.
****
I’ve come down with a head cold, of all things. Just what I needed, right when I’ve begun to have to do more and more of the chores, along with Marina Timofeyevna. Sonya spends all of her time with Yelena Andreyevna these days, and Vanya…well, I hardly even see him out of his room anymore. When I do, it’s always with Yelena as well. That woman, she’s like a siren right out of the myths I used to read in school.
Things just haven’t been right since that storm back in July. Everyone’s restless, snapping at each other with no provocation, it’s almost more than I can bear sometimes. I just want everyone to be happy, really. Back when Sonnyechka’s mother was alive, we all got along so swimmingly. I love everyone in this house (well, except for maybe the doctor) and I hate to see them fighting like this. Marina Timofeyevna is the only one I talk to anymore, really, and even she’s shaken by the way things are going, which scares me. She’s always a steady person, no matter what’s going on.
His Excellency has asked us all to meet him to discuss something later today. He made it sound quite important. Maybe it will be something that can bring everyone back together. I can only hope, I suppose.
****
I can hardly believe that I am still alive. It was disgraceful, what Vanya did, completely insane. I love him like a brother, and I think I know where he’s coming from, but have I not lived through these things as well, felt the same disappointments that he has? I may not be as intelligent as he, but nevertheless, there are always times when I have wanted something else. I guess the shooting scared Yelena, because she has insisted that she and Alexander leave at once, which means that, for the moment, they are not selling the estate. I am grateful for this, because I do not want to leave this house. It is the only home I have now, and all of my friends and family are here. I’ve been talking with Marina Timofeyevna about things, and we both agree that, in the end, it’s for the best. His Excellency and his spouse are not meant for the life that we lead here, as sad as that is. So they will go to Kharkov and we will stay here, as things were before. We will settle back into the routines of old. We’ll eat at normal hours, sleep at night like decent people, and all of this antagonism will dissipate. It’s how things must be. I don’t pretend to be any good at philosophizing, but it does seem to me that we are meant to be here, doing the things that we do, and the presence of Alexander and Yelena changed that, and not for the better. We are creatures of habit, and I do not think that that is a bad thing, unless a change could benefit our way of life, and if the events of yesterday prove anything, it’s that such a change has not arrived yet. And I do so look forward to eating noodles again.
-Rory Eggleston