The Season of Harvest

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The following post was written by Rev. Ed Moore.

My nephew Ned became an Eagle Scout toward the end of summer, and most of the family gathered in a United Methodist Church in Pennsylvania to witness the award, support Ned and, of course, celebrate. Though Ned didn’t expect a gift, I presented him with a family artifact I’d curated for many years: the Lou Stanley Memorial Compass.

Lou Stanley was a classic West Virginian who lived near our home when I was growing up and occasionally worked for my father. Right out of central casting, Lou rolled his own smokes, wore a Freddy Krueger hat years before anyone heard of Freddy, drove a ’37 Chevy pickup (“Put a ’39 rear end in it,” he once allowed), confessed to having run moonshine “back in the 30”s,” dealt in guns to earn some extra income, was hygienically indifferent, and spoke what even then was a vanishing Appalachian dialect. But Lou was a kindly soul, and one day presented me with a U.S. Army Corps of compassEngineers compass dating from World War I. Solid brass it was, with a thick lens, engravings attesting to its provenance, and a beautifully etched dial that spun freely – when unlocked – and unfailingly pointed true north. I kept that compass safe and secure for years, long after Lou had driven the ’37 up to the pearly gates and flicked some home rolled ashes at St. Peter’s kiosk (Peter probably let him pass after exacting a promise he’d dunk himself seven times in the river of the water of life).

Who better, I reasoned, to curate the Stanley Compass for the next few decades than Ned, an Eagle Scout, and rising millennial Moore? So now the artifact belongs to him, and it has fallen to my brother Will, his dad, to convey the oral tradition of Lou Stanley in all its colorful, multisensory, detail. This will require many evenings by the fireside and, for Ned, an expanded appreciation for the Appalachian Mythical Tradition. I’ve no doubt Ned and Will are both up to the challenge.

I confess to some mixed feelings as I parted with the compass: I had come to think of it as my own, a piece of property belonging to me. But then I remembered that my life this side of the vale is impermanent and that, like Aaron’s staff (see Numbers 17), the Stanley Compass had the power to reinforce critical, tribal memories. Ned will understand his dad, three uncles, and his own West Virginia lineage better after Will answers the question, “Father, why is this compass different from all other compasses?” Each time Ned watches its dial spin to true north, he’ll recall whence he came.

Serving in what United Methodists call Extension Ministry (more tribal stuff, different tribe) for the past six years has honed my understanding of this important aspect of The Calling: the privilege of sharing what’s been learned in the journey. My spiritual attic is filled with things analogous to the Stanley Memorial Compass, many of them stored away as sacred reminders of lessons hard – or joyfully – learned in the thirty-five years since I was ordained Elder. It has been a privilege to sort through these as I’ve worked with the Clergy Health Initiative at Duke, dusting off the more significant among them and bequeathing them to pastors with whom I’ve served these last six years.

If we think of life’s journey as a succession of seasons, then retirement might be the season of harvest, when we take stock of what we’ve stored up across the years, sort out the more grace-ful artifacts, then give them away. We won’t have lost them – I can still recite the Lou Stanley narrative easily – but will have, in the act of giving, enriched the recipients’ lives by trusting them to curate the gifts. Isn’t this what we experienced years ago in baptism? In ordination or licensing by the church? Every time we stood behind a pulpit or the Lord’s Table? As we were trusted, so now we trust others . . . just as Mary Magdalene, entrusted with seeing the risen Lord, gave away that Good News as soon as she could. That’s church, thanks be to God.

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Rev. Moore is the Director of Educational Programs for the Clergy Health Initiative and an ordained elder in the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church.

 

The Big Silence Retreat

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sacred-heart-1910You are invited to experience big spaces of solitude and silence in community for the purpose of tending the inner fire of your soul.  Hosted by Centenary UMC (Winston-Salem) and Davidson UMC, this 4-day mostly silent retreat will be grounded in the modern classic The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen.  As a participant, you will embark on a spiritual path consisting of the three stepping stones of solitude, silence, and prayer.  You will also leave with empowering resources for your continued journey into the heart of Christ.

RETREAT LOCATION: St. Francis Springs Prayer Center, Stoneville, NC

DATES: January 25-28, 2015

COST: $445

RETREAT LEADERS: Rev. Jonathan Brake, Rev. Dianne Lawhorn, Ann Starrette

Space is still available for this retreat.  Click here for more information and to register.

Painting by Odilon Redon, 1910; image courtesy of wikiart.org

Update: Pedaling to Stop Traffic

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The following post, written by Mark Andrews, is an update to the article he shared with The Connection in April, where he previewed his cross-country bike trip.  Rev. Andrews is a Spirited Life Group 3 participant and pastor at St. Luke’s UMC in Hickory.

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What a summer! On June 1, my wife, Denise, and I embarked on our journey across the country, me on my yellow, triple-crankset, Schwinn bicycle and Denise in our car, driving as my support along the way. We began at the waterfront in Edenton, North Carolina and ended at Sunset Bay State Park in Charleston, Oregon. The purpose of my expedition was mainly to take some time away from the parish, to refresh my spirit while pursuing one of my bucket-list items, but I also used this trip to raise funds and awareness regarding United Methodist Women’s efforts to stop human trafficking. While I fell short of my $40,000 goal, there has nonetheless been over $16,000 raised thus far — no small change!

Upon first getting permission for my leave, I was filled with giddy delight, but as the day for departure approached, I began feeling anxious about what I had gotten myself into. Was I physically up to the challenge? What if I failed? What would I say to my congregation? I began to worry about the challenge to which I had committed Denise and myself.

I started off the trip the way I do most projects, trying to get it all finished as quickly as possible. After the first two days of riding almost 190 miles, we arrived in Durham, North Carolina at our daughter’s home, physically and emotionally exhausted from trying to do too much. Lovingly fed and refreshed, I resumed the journey at a more moderate pace the rest of the way.

There were some more long-mileage days, but I averaged about 65 miles, or 100 kilometers, a day — fewer in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, more on the flats of the Kansas plains. But each mile brought “signs and wonders” at the beauty of the United States and the marvels of creation. Traveling on back roads and through small towns granted me a perspective on this country that one misses when driving on interstate highways. Never having traveled extensively, every day was an adventure, as I discovered Mark in mountainswhat was around each curve in the road, or exulted in the vistas just over every mountain and hill.

Denise and I learned to trust in the providence of God for safety, weather, food and lodging. My bicycle had no mechanical problems. I never even had to change a tire! We found a place to sleep every night, whether in a city park in a tent, in a church fellowship hall made available through the hospitality of its people, and a few hotels. There were a few dangerous and anxious moments in the journey, but all of them were overcome by God’s mercies.

What I enjoyed the most was the simplicity of each day. A recent book detailing Paul Howard’s epic bike ride is entitled, Eat, Sleep, Ride. That title pretty well summarizes the gracious gift this experience was for me. What seems so out of reach these days is at the same time what we need most — Sabbath, solitude, silence and simplicity. These were all characteristics of my time of renewal. I hope to incorporate what I learned this summer into my daily life and my weekly observance of Sabbath-keeping. And I’m still pedaling when I can.

-Rev. Mark Andrews

Photo taken by Denise Andrews in the mountains of Montana

A Time for Renewal, Part III

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This is the third in a special series on renewal leave by guest blogger Rev. Dianne Lawhorn.  Read the first and second installments.

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Guidelines for selecting helping professionals during a renewal leave:

Spiritual Direction– This form of support is helpful if your need is to work on your relationship with God. If you are feeling the desire for a more rich spiritual experience, a spiritual director can provide guidance in developing practices that will help you connect with God at a deeper level. A spiritual director can also help you to notice where God is at work in your life and discern what response might be called for. A Spiritual Director can provide a prayerful, companioning presence for this time in your life.

Counseling– This form of support is helpful if your need is for healing. If you recognize disappointment, disillusionment, or despair in your life, a counselor can help. Counseling is useful in uncovering what’s going on with you emotionally so that you might seek the healing you need. A counselor can also help you cope with situations and relationships that are causing you discomfort, allowing you to recognize and honor what you are feeling.

Coaching- This form of support is helpful if your need is to make an assessment of your current situation and to develop a plan of action for moving forward. Coaches can help you assess your strengths, growth edges, and vital needs. They can help you discover new possibilities for creating the life that you want. They are equipped to assist you with your plan for development and can provide accountability as you move forward.

A final step might be to think about how you want to continue in ministry. It would be good to think about what aspects of this leave time you can incorporate into your regular life. Deciding what rhythms you will keep from this valuable time away will be essential to sustaining the renewal you’ve experienced. It is important to think about how you are going to create space in your life to nurture that which contributes to your health and well-being.

Hopefully, your renewal leave will uncover some areas where you would like to pursue a greater degree of health. It’s important to remember that in order for us to become healthier, we must embrace a new way of being and a new way of doing ministry that small groupis life-giving to us. We must then walk forward into this new way, having been equipped with tools for a better way of doing life and ministry.

We all need accountability to make change a reality in our lives. Maybe it’s time to think about how you can create that accountability for yourself. Do you need to connect with a spiritual friend or ministry colleague on a regular basis to help you implement this new way of life? Perhaps you could create a support group of others who join together in sustaining this important life change?  Hopefully, this support will sustain you for years to come, making life-long transformational ministry a reality!

Dianne

Dianne Lawhorn is the Minister of Spiritual Formation for the Lydia Group which is a resource for spiritual wholeness offering formational teaching, retreat leadership, and spiritual direction.

A Time for Renewal, Part II

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This is the second in a special series on taking renewal leave by guest blogger Rev. Dianne Lawhorn.  Read the first installment here.

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A renewal leave is an ideal time for you to develop rhythms that can be incorporated into your life when you return to work. You may never again have this opportunity to “try on” a new rhythm and see how it works for you. The rhythm I sought to embrace was to: eat healthy foods, exercise, get plenty of sleep, take a Sabbath, and have some fun! By doing these things over a short-term period, I was able to conceive of how this rhythm could become a reality over the long-term as well.

You might try incorporating a particular time every day where you can connect with God through a favorite spiritual practice. On my leave, my husband and I worked through the book The Cup of our Life by Joyce Rupp. This guide tea and booknot only provided readings but also included practices for prayer, reflection, scripture reading, journaling, and a commitment for each day. We found the use of this guide to be a great resource to us individually and as a couple!

A renewal leave is a wonderful time to reflect on your ministry journey. A book that I found very helpful in my reflection was Leading on Empty by Wayne Corderio. This book helped me better understand the challenges of life-long ministry and the effects it can have on our bodies, minds, and spirits. It also helped me learn how to navigate these challenges with greater ease.

A renewal leave is a great time to reflect on your personal life.  It’s a good idea to consider if the life you are living is the life you want to live. It’s a time for you to think about what changes might help you to more fully live into the desires you have for your life.

These questions may contribute to your reflection:

Where am I now?

What do I really want?

What is my next right step?

What is life-giving to me, helping me to give and receive love?

What is life-draining to me, hindering me from giving and receiving love?

 In this reflection, you may find needs that you don’t know how to provide for on your own. We all need help from time to time in processing what is going on with us at a deeper level. A book that I used to assist me in this discovery was Release by Flora Wuellner.

Renewal time is an opportunity to consider if you want to make use of a helping professional such as a spiritual director, counselor, or a coach. In the next article, I’ll provide some guidelines for selecting which resource you need at this point in your journey. You may even elect to participate in The Davidson Clergy Program, an excellent resource to build your resilience!  

Dianne

Dianne Lawhorn is the Minister of Spiritual Formation for the Lydia Group which is a resource for spiritual wholeness offering formational teaching, retreat leadership, and spiritual direction.

 

 

Image by Flickr user ienjoysushi via CC

A Time for Renewal, Part I

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This is the first in a special series on taking renewal leave by guest blogger Rev. Dianne Lawhorn.

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Often in our ministry, after years of service, we find ourselves in need of being recharged. Current statistics say that most of us will experience fall at Starretteministry fatigue at some point in our journey. We shouldn’t feel guilty about taking the time we need because all of us will need a break eventually. Recognizing the need for a break is actually a sign of health. Taking a break allows us to be renewed for the journey.

Thankfully, the Methodist Book of Discipline recognizes the need for this time and provides for it in the form of a renewal leave.  I took this time of renewal back in 2012 and found that it gave me a renewed sense of vitality and purpose in ministry. I needed some guidance, however, in order to discern how to structure the time of my leave so that I could receive the greatest benefits from it.   I wondered if you might find yourself in this place and might like some tips for shaping this time.

A renewal leave is a time where we really need to give ourselves a break! For most of us, our tendency to over-schedule and over-commit has led us to the need of a break in the first place.  So, we don’t want to bring this pattern into our leave time. For this reason, I devoted the first and last part of my own leave to rest. It was great for me to spend that time simply being still, with stillness as my only task or accomplishment for those days.

A renewal leave is the perfect time for you to get out of your environment, especially if you live in a parsonage. You might go to a place that you have enjoyed before, where you can connect with God and with yourself. You might want to spend a few days in the mountains, at the beach, or at a local retreat center, where you can spend some time alone in a peaceful environment that nurtures your soul.

If you are married, this is also a great time for you to connect with your spouse. During my renewal leave, my husband also took time away from his job so that he could share in my experience. We felt grateful to have that unstructured time together as a couple in a place that we both love!

This could also be a time to connect with family and friends. Maybe you could go to see a family member or friend that you would like to connect with whom you haven’t seen in years. Shared experiences with people who are important to us can certainly contribute to our well-being, which should be a goal of our renewal time. Sharing this experience with others can truly give us strength for our journey.

In next week’s post, I’ll offer some reflection activities and questions that might be helpful to consider for your renewal leave.

Dianne

Dianne Lawhorn is the Minister of Spiritual Formation for the Lydia Group which is a resource for spiritual wholeness offering formational teaching, retreat leadership, and spiritual direction.

 

 

Click to read Part II and Part III.

Healthy Boundaries

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“A boundary for a ministry leader or a pastor is like a property line around your yard; only rope boundaryin this case, that yard is your soul. Healthy boundaries make for healthy souls. Unhealthy boundaries make for unhealthy souls.”  So says Charles Stone of Stonewall Ministries, who published a great blog post about why it’s hard for pastors to set healthy boundaries, and he offers a few solutions.

  • First, he says, pastors are called to help people, and this takes an infinite amount of time. Solution: Remember that Jesus did not heal every person he came into contact with, and there are many examples in the Bible where he goes off to be alone.
  • Second, our 24/7 culture makes it hard for anyone to disconnect. Solution: Agree that after 6pm, you will not answer any work-related emails. Also, when you are read for sleep, place the phone on the other side of the room rather than next to your bed.
  • Third, we are wired to be social and to please others (therefore, it’s hard to tell someone, “no”). Solution: Just know that it’s normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when you enforce one of your boundaries. Give it an hour, and the discomfort will fade.
  • Fourth, humans (maybe caregivers in particular) desire to feel needed, to feel that we are doing “good.” You can literally become addicted to affirmation and accomplishment. Solution: Ask yourself if you can truly take time away from helping others (for example, on your day off).

If you struggle with that last question, and for anyone who is interested in reading more about setting boundaries, Rev. Stone recommends these 2 books by Henry Cloud: Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life and Boundaries for Leaders.

MeQuilibrium, the online stress program Spirited Life introduced to pastors, offers these tips for setting healthy work/life boundaries:

  • Rethink the structure of your day. Instead of looking at your schedule as “before lunch” and “after lunch” or “at work” and “at home,” consider 1 ½- or 2- hour chunks. Then, take a 15-minute break before switching to the next “chunk” of work.
  • Move around. When you are taking a break from work, try to be active, even if it’s just standing up and stretching.
  • Reserve night time for yourself and your family. Select a cutoff time in the evening for checking email and stick to it.

What are your techniques for setting and adhering to healthy boundaries?

-Katie Huffman

Post inspired by: 4 Obstacles Pastors Face in Setting Boundaries and Why you Need to Separate Work and Leisure

Image by Lumix G user Larterman, via CC

Seminar Opportunity: “True Resiliency”

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seminarThe Davidson Clergy Center will be offering a professional development seminar called “True Resiliency: Transforming Pastoral Stress into Ministry Success” on August 12 or September 18, 2014 (1:30 to 5:30 p.m.).

Success in ministry is one thing; achieving a clergy identity that is personally satisfying may be something else altogether. In place of a diatribe about clergy’s near legendary high levels of impairment and distress, relative to other occupations, this interactive seminar adopts a decidedly positive stance: how holistic health—including the often undernourished emotional and spiritual dimensions—is garnered in spite of the stressors unique to ministry professionals.Key concepts from the contemporary behavioral science of positive psychology include:

  • Chronicity- the role of timing in career stress, success, and well-being
  • Personality- how the so-called “clergy personality” aids (or hinders) career success and life satisfaction
  • Resiliency- three components of resiliency counteract common clergy-life stress points
  • Spirituality- the contribution of spiritual vitality to the wellness of contemporary clergy.

Participants will leave with several self-assessment checklists, each containing core elements promoting the psychological and vocational well-being of today’s emotionally and spiritually healthy minister.

About your Faculty:
Michael E. Hall (Ph.D, Counseling Psychology-Penn State University) has been a part of the “helping professions” as a psychologist-executive coach, and professional development trainer for over three decades. Service to the faith community spans the mid-West/Atlantic regions to Nevada in the US, to the West Indies.

This seminar will be held at the Davidson Clergy Center, 455 S Main Street, Suite 200, Davidson, NC 28036 with a minimum of 5 and a maximum of 12 participants. The cost for the seminar is $350.

To register, please provide the following information to Gordon Jacobs–gordonjacobs@davcp.com or (704) 895-6487–  Name, email address, phone number, and seminar date selection (pick one) – August 12 or September 18.

The In-Between Space, Part III

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This is the third in a special series on Transitions by guest blogger Rev. Dianne Lawhorn.  Click to read the first and second installments.

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Last week, I left you with three questions for discernment in the midst of your transition.  Where am I now, what do I want, and what is my next right step?

If we aren’t careful, we’ll rush right through these steps, won’t we?  I invite you not to do that today; I invite you to slow down a little bit.  If we rush in, things don’t process as they should, and we get stuck.  I invite you to take a long, slow breath.  I invite you to hold the work that God is doing in you through this season, in prayer.  Prayer helps us to process through these steps well.   Prayer can be the safe container to hold all the emotions of transition, the place where we trust that God will work to bring us through our transition, accompanying us to the other side, where we’ll be stronger and better for it!pebbles at beach2_flickr geraint rowlandI was thinking of a biblical illustration that might be helpful for this time in your life.  I kept thinking about the Israelites during the Exodus.  This was a wilderness experience that was pretty confusing for them.  They weren’t sure which way they should go, what they should do.  They had a lot of emotions to process.  Should they move ahead to another place without clear direction or should they stay put?

So, what did they do?  They pitched a tent, didn’t they?  They decided to stay put and wait on a clear direction from God.  They committed themselves to waiting & seeking God’s will.

That may be what you need to do during this time, pitch a tent, and prayerfully wait to discern your next best steps.  Discernment doesn’t happen in our time, it happens in God’s time.  So, don’t rush the process, slow down, pitch a tent- even if it feels uncomfortable to you right now.  God is there for you, you can trust God to show you the way.  When we slow down, this gives God a chance to show up, to lead us into our next phase.  So, we wait, trusting the process, and trusting God to work within that process.

I will borrow the words of that favorite author again as I offer you her prayer for transition:

“I encourage you today, to slowly, move into this new phase of life and ministry.  I pray that your heart be refreshed, encouraged, lifted up, and strengthened by the truth that during this season, you’re not walking in isolation from God.  God is hunkered down with you in the midst of your steps, and he sees clearly the marked path in front of you.  Trust in that abiding, friends, and stick close to the Father.  God has something more for you than currently meets the eye. Most certainly, that something will stretch your faith and shape your soul.”  -Elaine Olsen

May God’s abiding grace sustain us as we journey through the season of transition together! 

-Dianne Lawhorn

Dianne is currently the Minister of Spiritual Formation for Diannethe Lydia Group which is a resource for spiritual wholeness offering formational teaching, retreat leadership, and spiritual direction.

Image by Flickr user Geraint Rowland, via CC

The In-Between Space, Part II

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This is the second in a special series on Transitions by guest blogger Rev. Dianne Lawhorn.  Read the first installment here

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Last week, I left you with a question:  What is it time for now- in the midst of this in-between space?  

I believe it’s a time to grieve, honor, reflect, and hope.path in sun_flickr alex de carvalho

The first task is that of grieving.  This is a time to allow yourself to feel whatever feelings you are having about this change.  It’s not a time to ignore those feelings; you should name them, as you recognize them, as real and significant.  It’s important to acknowledge the sense of loss that comes with any change, with the ending of any season.  There’s always a measure of anxiety that comes with change because we are facing the unknown.  We have a choice about what we do with that anxiety.  We can ignore it, unknowingly act it out, or simply choose to hold the anxiety.  Acknowledging our anxiety gives us permission to grieve the end of the past season.

This is also a time to honor the passing season, to celebrate the past!  It’s a time to honor all of the experiences that you’ve enjoyed with your former community of faith.  It’s a time to honor the times you’ve been there for each other and all that you’ve learned from each other.  It’s a time to celebrate what you’ve accomplished together and to honor the difference you’ve made in each other’s lives.

This is also a time for personal reflection.  It’s a time to remember who you are as a pastor.  You might think about what your strengths are.  You might recall those teachable moments in your ministry that made you better.  It’s helpful to find new ways to talk about your challenges that invite growth and discovery, energizing you for the future.  You might consider what you have already overcome, what ground you’ve already trod.  It’s also helpful to recall those moments where you embodied your best self, where you behaved as if you were who you want to become.  This reflection becomes a resource to help us get through transition.

This is also a time for hope.  It’s a time to allow yourself to dream a little bit as you look forward to what’s possible for the future.  It’s a time to remember that your story is not over!  As we consider our hopes and dreams, we have the opportunity to live into them.  When we live into them, they can shape our destiny.  They can serve as a bridge to connect past and future.  They can help us to determine who God is calling us to become in this next phase of our ministry.   This is something that we can really get excited about!

Some questions you might use in your discernment are:

Where am I now?  What do I really want?  What is my next right step?

Dianne Lawhorn

Dianne is currently the Minister of Spiritual Formation for the Lydia DianneGroup which is a resource for spiritual wholeness offering formational teaching, retreat leadership, and spiritual direction.

Photo by Flickr user Alex de Carvalho, via CC