Tag Archives: support

Free Financial Planning for UMC Clergy

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check bookThe topic of managing personal finances can be daunting, and even depressing, for many pastors, particularly those who are just trying to stay afloat. On the United Methodist Communications website, there are some good tips on how to assess your church’s financial health, but what about your own?

I have some good news: the United Methodist Church’s General Board of Pension and Health Benefits is offering free financial planning services to all active participants, surviving spouses of clergy, and retired clergy with an account balance.

The General Board has partnered with Ernst and Young Financial Planning to offer support in the areas of:

  • making investment decisions
  • planning for retirement
  • managing debt
  • understanding your taxes

When I read about this offer on the General Board’s website, I admit that I was a little skeptical. Free financial planning in a time when everything costs you something?

However, I mentioned this resource to a pastor who had named financial health as an area she would like to work on as she plans for retirement. She came back with a glowing report:“The financial planner has been so helpful. I sent in my financial documents, and his encouragement and professionalism has really put my mind at ease about the future,” she said. The pastor also said that “taking action has given me something to work toward, one small step at a time.“

piggy bankYou can call Ernst & Young directly at 1-800-360-2539, Monday through Friday between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m., Central time.

Their brochure contains additional information.

To log onto the program website, visit the Ernst and Young Planning Center, using the login info below:

  • company code: gbophb
  • company program: gbophb

I encourage you to take advantage of this free opportunity to alleviate some financial stress and take care of yourself.

Blessings,

–Kelli Sittser

Being yourself in ministry

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After The Christian Century ran a story on the state of clergy health late last year, the magazine published several thoughtful letters it received in response to the article.  These responses appeared only in the print version and not online, so I’m reprinting one below for us all to consider.

What questions does it raise for you?

Amy Frykholm’s article “Fit for Ministry” (Oct. 31) reminded me of the conversations I sometimes have during pastoral visits, when the person I’m visiting mentions in an offhand way an issue of real importance just as I’m getting up to leave.  Frykholm spends most of her article talking about Spirited Life, a program that helps United Methodist clergy in North Carolina take steps toward healthy eating and wellness.  In the article’s last paragraph, researcher Rae Jean Proeschold-Bell is quoted as saying that what is really needed for congregations to change the way they think about their clergy: “I would want them to think about the pastor as a whole person.”

This comment is more than a suggestion for future study.  Proeschold-Bell has discovered the real challenge to clergy health — the inability of many clergy to feel like they can be themselves in the context of their role as pastor.

I read the article after leading a week-long session for young clergy.  We talked about the gifts and the costs of “showing up” as ourselves in the context of ministry.  Among the costs that these young pastors identified: “Spiteful people will take what they learn about me and use it against me”; “People will judge me and lose respect for me”; and “I will no longer be able to protect myself from people who want to undermine me.”  In short, these pastors do not feel safe in their congregations.  No amount of weight loss or exercise or talks with a wellness advocate will address this issue.  What is needed is honest support for clergy from their denominations and from their congregations.

Heather Kirk-Davidoff
Columbia, Md.

— Kate Rugani

Image courtesy of torbakhopper via Flicker/Creative Commons

 

‘Tis the season…

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For some, faithfulness to God’s call to ministry includes the very humbling journey toward ordination.  Many of you following that path have written and submitted the requisite papers, along with the Bible study lesson plans and the video-recorded sermons. Now it is time to go before the Board of Ordained Ministry for provisional or continuation interviews.

Let us take a few moments to pray Psalm 111. May God bless the candidates, the board, and everyone who has provided support along this journey.

Psalm 111

Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation. Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them. Full of honor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever. He has gained renown by his wonderful deeds; the Lord is gracious and merciful. He provides food for those who fear him; he is ever mindful of his covenant. He has shown his people the power of his works, in giving them the heritage of the nations.  The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. They are established forever and ever, to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness. He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever.

– Angela MacDonald
(images courtesy of www.nervousspeaker.com and www.klove.com)

 

Isolation in ordination

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In my work with clergy, pastors often lament over how difficult it is to build friendships and social support.  For many, the clerical call carries with it a sense of isolation.  M. Craig Barnes, president of Princeton Seminary, calls it a “crowded loneliness”–a challenge that he reflects over in a recent article with the Christian Century.

For over 30 years I’ve struggled with the question of befriending parishioners. I realize that I’m supposed to maintain healthy friendships outside of the church, and I’ve taught this for years in seminary classes. The professional literature supports this call to maintain a distinction between relationships of mutuality and those of service as a pastor. I get that. But there’s a math problem—there isn’t enough time left over after serving the church to have healthy friendships.

Vocational ministry leaves little time for relationships of mutuality, so it’s only human that pastors would desire reciprocation and friendship from congregants. But this is only half the problem. Even when pastors use discipline in their relationships within the church, making these relationships ones of service, they still face pressure from congregants to be one among them, as a neighbor, partner, and friend.  Barnes continues,

When I knelt to receive the laying on of hands before I was ordained, the elders of the congregation were being led by the Holy Spirit to push me away from them. They were essentially saying, “We are setting you apart to serve us. So you can’t be just one of the gang anymore. Now you have to love us enough to no longer expect mutuality.” It wasn’t long after I stood up from the ordination prayer that I discovered this. But the elders have a hard time understanding the holy distance they created by their decision to make me their pastor.

Barnes doesn’t shy away from naming this unavoidable burden for what it is.

Ordination costs pastors, and one of the greatest costs is maintaining the lonely status of being surrounded by everyone in the church while always being the odd person in the room.

He goes on to describe how he’s learned to maintain friendships outside the church, mostly with other clergy members. He speaks to them on the phone weekly and is intentional about gathering with them for retreats (many pastors use Duke’s Study Leave program for just this sort of gathering). It sustains him, but it doesn’t remove the awkwardness and longing he experiences in the “crowded loneliness” of ministry. Whether congregants know it or not, this sacrifice is for their sake and good, a service of devotion and love. Israel’s priests were set apart from the people to make intercession and mediate before God for them.

Does this reflect your experience?  What ways have you found to maintain honest, supportive relationships of mutuality amidst the work of ministry?

–Tommy Grimm

(Photo by Flickr user dMad-photo/via Creative Commons)

Is there a nest in your hair?

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As soon as I saw the title, it was impossible for me to pass up reading Dr. Mike Bechtle’s book, People Can’t Drive You Crazy if You Don’t Give Them the Keys. And I was not disappointed!

One the highlights for me is summed up in the following quote:

“You can’t stop a bird from landing on your head,
but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair.”

In other words, you cannot always prevent a negative thought from entering your mind, but you do have the ability to prevent that thought from taking root. I find this encouragement incredibly liberating because it acknowledges a struggle.  Negative thoughts inevitably arise. They cannot be completely avoided, no matter how hard we try. And yet, we have the ability to to combat them. Spiritual warfare, anyone?

I’m sure a few pastors have had to wrestle against thoughts like, ‘They think I am a bad leader!’ or ‘I wonder if they think I’m qualified for this?’ or ‘There is no way I’ll ever get this weight off!” or “Did God really call me for this?” Negative thoughts exist.

Behavior change is hard, and our society can be pretty unforgiving about our humanity, our propensity to try and fail. And try again and fail again. Rinse and repeat. But a lot of the challenge is in our heads. And we don’t need to let a nest form by dwelling on our failures.

Regardless of where you are in your pursuits of health and wellness, please consider encouragement from Philippians 4:8 that says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

I would also like to offer a less theological, but nonetheless insightful perspective from a 3-year old named Jessica who takes a more proactive approach to positive thinking.

– Angela MacDonald
(Image courtesy of bibledrivethru.blogspot.com)

Pastor Spotlight: Rev. Laura Hayes Mitchell: Minister, Mom and Marathoner

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This piece is offered by my fellow wellness advocate, Lisa MacKenzie:

I first met the Rev. Laura Hayes Mitchell, pastor of Burgaw UMC in Burgaw, NC, at the 2011 Spirited Life winter workshop at Oak Island. While there, she shared with me that she had a vision of where she wanted to be with her health and what she wanted to do about it.

Before having children, Laura was a runner; therefore, her vision included wanting to run a 5K. But when you have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old, how do you find time to get yourself conditioned for a race?  Talk about a challenge! Laura explained, “It’s fine if you have a live-in nanny, but some of us have to learn how to juggle responsibilities, and it’s particularly difficult if you’re a pastor without a predictable schedule.”

So Laura set goals based on her vision.  She made time for the gym, followed Naturally Slim, and began to think a 5K was within reach. She began to see that she needed to carve out the time regularly for herself. She noticed that she felt good and had more energy when she exercised.

Then, it was time for the first race. “What a hoot!” Laura reported. She finished the race with a “respectable time,” but more importantly, she emerged with even more motivation for longer races.

Since then, her family has cheered her on at her races, and her boys have discovered that Mom is quite the athlete. In fact, Owen, her youngest child, likes to stretch with her, and TJ, the big boy in the family, runs the last block with his Mom on her way home on Saturday mornings. After two years of hard work and perseverance, Laura has moved on to half-marathons and is feeling well. She says that “running has now become a habit.”

I found her last statement interesting, especially as I’m reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Duhigg draws on research in experimental and applied psychology along with neurology, highlighting just how interesting — and powerful — the brain really is!

Thanks, Laura, for inspiring us. It’s amazing how quickly habits can change!

— Lisa MacKenzie

A friend who cares

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Today, a quote from Henri J.M. Nouwen’s The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey:

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

Which person in your life means the most to you?  Take a few moments today to lift them up in prayer.

–Kate Rugani

The Pain Behind the Mask

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The holidays are expected to be a season of joy, benevolence and (frequently) a LOT of shopping. However, studies reveal that the holidays can also signal the recurrence of past emotional pain and an increase in ‘the blues’ or ‘holiday depression.’ As such, many pastors also deal with an uptick in requested pastoral counseling sessions. This means that pastors may hear countless stories about the memories of lost loved ones, the absence of family due to travel or family conflict, and strained marriages.

Pastors are expected to be caring, available, and safe receivers of this information. And society conditions all of us to present a brave front in the midst of sorrow. So how can pastors manage the weight of sadness heard from congregants while it may inevitably remind them of their own losses?

One way is by recognizing depression, which often gets masked or overlooked.

Drs. John Lynch and Christopher Kilmartin have written a compelling book entitled The Pain Behind the Mask. Although the book’s subtitle says that it addresses masculine depression (an often undiagnosed condition), the authors provide incredible points throughout the book that can be useful for everyone. The authors specifically mention female professionals who decide to adopt a less feminine persona as a survival skill in male-dominated professions.

Lynch and Kilmartin explain that women are diagnosed with depression twice as often as men. However, they note that those statistics may be inaccurate since men experience depression differently than women and are expected to display “traditional masculinity” (hyperindependence, toughness, unfeeling, detached from feelings).  While the definitions are not absolute, Lynch and Kilmartin describe the differences in masculine and feminine depression using the figure below:

The book delves deeper into these and other topics, featuring chapter titles such as  ‘He Sure Doesn’t Look Depressed’ and ‘Empathy for Self and Responsibility for Change.’

It seems to be human nature for all of us to wear some type of mask in our everyday lives. Whether it is at the workplace, a social event or even church, our masks serve to disguise or protect us. For pastors, it can be especially difficult to find a safe place to remove that mask. Further, it may be difficult to recognize that you’re actually wearing a mask when you believe it has been removed.

The Pain Behind the Mask goes on to provide a list of helpful questions to consider if you or a loved one notice that there is a strong disconnect between one’s public appearance and private appearance. Most importantly, The Pain Behind the Mask includes very helpful information and tips to assist you in improving relations with your peers, family and yourself.

Do YOU have an outlet, reliable support person or system that gives you a safe place to take off your mask?

– Angela M. MacDonald

Image credits: Puppy photo courtesy of Bill Weaver, via Flickr/Creative Commons. Book cover and image on male/female depression courtesy of ‘The Pain Behind the Mask.’

A Prayer for Writing Commissioning/Ordination Papers

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Like the rest of you, Spirited Life is celebrating the beginning of the Advent season. However, we know that this also is a season for commissioning and ordination papers (at least for United Methodist clergy).

For those of you writing, reading, editing and re-writing (sermons OR papers), we offer a prayer from St. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274). This prayer is known by a few names, including ‘A Prayer Before Study, Speaking and Writing’:

Ineffable Creator,

Who, from the treasures of Your wisdom,
have established three hierarchies of angels,
have arrayed them in marvelous order above the fiery heavens,
and have marshaled the regions of the universe with such artful skill,

You are proclaimed the true font of light and wisdom,
and the primal origin raised high beyond all things.

Pour forth a ray of Your brightness into the darkened places
of my mind; disperse from my soul the twofold darkness
into which I was born:
sin and ignorance.

You make eloquent the tongues of infants.
Refine my speech and pour forth upon my lips the goodness of Your blessing.

Grant to me keenness of mind,
capacity to remember,
skill in learning,
subtlety to interpret,
and eloquence in speech.

May You guide the beginning of my work,
direct its progress,
and bring it to completion.

You Who are true God and true Man,
Who live and reign, world without end.

Amen.

(courtesy of www.liturgies.net;
image courtesy of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church – New Orleans)

Making Changes for 2013

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The weeks leading up to Advent and Christmas come with a flurry of activity, and your healthcare benefits may be the farthest thing from your mind.  But whether you have a choice in health plans or not (or have a brief window of open enrollment in which to make changes), thinking ahead to how you’ll use your benefits can save you money in the coming year.

Ready to dive in? Below are some things to consider:

Read up on all plans offered
Ask for plan materials from your benefits administrator, and check out the websites of any health plans that are offered.  Your benefits administrator may have an online tool to help you compare plan choices, too.  If it’s available, use it!

Premium increases
Look to see whether your share of the monthly premium for employer-based health insurance is increasing.  That’s the amount of money taken directly from your wages.  If you can’t afford the premium for your current plan, consider less expensive coverage options from your employer or an individually-purchased plan.

Deductibles, copays and out-of-pocket costs
Since your real health care costs involve more than just monthly premiums, check to see whether your plan’s copayment amounts for prescription drugs or office visits have changed.  Look at the annual deductible too, and your annual out-of-pocket maximum.  Sometimes rising premiums are offset by increasing your liability in other cost-sharing categories.  (Cost saving tip: be sure to ask the doctors who prescribe your medications whether there is a generic version of the drug you are taking, and if so, whether it is a good alternative for you.  Generics are typically less expensive than brand drugs.)

Changes to your benefits  
As a result of the passage of the Affordable Care Act, you may now be eligible to receive additional benefits and options, such as keeping your child on your health plan until the age of 26.  Find out what is changing, and when.  Also: know your rights and protections.  Find out what insurance companies can and cannot do when it comes to changing or cancelling your coverage.

Spouses and dependents
Make sure your employer is still extending coverage to spouses and dependents, or whether they have changed their contributions toward dependents’ monthly premiums.  If you have an adult child under the age of 26 on your plan, find out how much is contributed toward his or her monthly premiums and compare that with the price of other coverage options.  If your spouse has employer-sponsored coverage too, find out if it’s more cost-effective to insure all or certain family members under your spouse’s plan instead.

Learn plan features you do and don’t want
Try the Health Plan Matchmaker tool.  It helps you pick plan features that are most important to you.  Just thinking about your health needs outside of medical care covered under a standard plan — like dental or vision — can help you choose the right plan for all of your health care needs.

Make a list of the benefits you used (and didn’t use)
If, for example, you visit your family doctor much more often than specialists, a plan with referrals and lower costs may be your best option.  When you figure out what parts of your plan you use most (and what you don’t) you can spend your health care dollars where you really need them.

Your health care needs
Have your own or your family’s health care needs changed over the last year? If the answer is yes, it may be time to consider a health insurance plan with a different balance of benefits.  Find out which private insurance plans, public programs and community services are available to you.

Budget for future health care costs
Consider a health savings account (HSA) or a flexible spending account (FSA).  These are two types of health funds that let you save money to pay for certain medical expenses tax-free.  When deciding on the amount of money to put into the account for 2013, keep in mind that you have until December 31st of the same year to spend it on eligible expenses, or the remaining balance will be forfeited.

Explore all your benefits options
Even if you have only one choice for a health plan, look for anything else you’re entitled to.  For example, find out if your health plan offers discounts for services like dental care or eyewear.  These programs aren’t insurance.  But they can offer great savings on services you’re already paying for.

Here’s to a healthy 2013!

–Dwight Tucker (posted by Melanie Kolkin)

Photo by Alan Cleaver/Flickr