I didn’t get a chance to meet my patient until February 2020, and by the time I started working with her, COVID-19 had forced a shutdown of most activities. We weren’t able to meet in person for several weeks, and when we did, it was socially distanced and outside in a public place. Most of our conversations over the phone ended up being about the pandemic and how that was further restricting her life beyond what she was already limited to due to her metastatic cancer. She expressed sadness and frustration and regret that this time during quarantine might be her last. The thought was so sad she rarely brought it up or talked about the possibility. Instead, we talked about the activities she could do and ways in which she keeps up with her family and friends despite being ill during a pandemic. She is beautifully optimistic, full of charm and life, and wonderfully kind.
My project is a medley of my patient’s top three favorite songs: I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me, Fight Song by Rachel Platten, and Stand by Me by Rachel Platten*. The sheet music overlays a calendar beginning with the day I met her for the first time and our last meeting before the end of the project. Visually the piece evokes the limitation of time as represented by days on a calendar, but with melodic beauty during our short relationship. The music itself interweaves the original songs and remains faithful to the melodies my patient cherishes. The lyrics I highlighted and wrote out I chose to simultaneously represent: the main idea of the songs, the reality of COVID quarantine, our phone-based relationship, living with cancer, and my own hopes to understand what my patient goes through.
About the Artist: Raluca Gosman
I’ve never thought about medicine purely as a science. We spend a lot of time learning facts and evidence and standards of care, but there is a hugely important ~people~ component that is felt, intuited, and finessed outside of the classroom. The joy in birth, the grief after death, the confusion and frustration of illness are aspects of this profession that I want to engage with throughout my practice. SCOPES allowed me to not only get to know my patient’s experience through illness, but also to express symbolically and melodically the understanding I garnered and the connection we formed. I hope to continue to reflect on the meaning of illness throughout my career.
Piano arrangements found on musescore.com and google.com. Original song information:
- I Can Only Imagine by Bart Millard; copyright INO/Curb
- Fight Song by Rachel Platten and Dave Bassett; copyright Columbia Records
- Stand by Me by Rachel Platten and Jack Antonoff, Joy Williams, Matt Morris, and Jon Levine; copyright Columbia Records
