Year 20.

In my 20 years I have lived through historic highs and historic lows. I still remember 9/11 and cheering on Michael Phelps in my living room when he won all 8 medals.

I have lived through 1 earth quake, 1 fender bender, 1 serious relationship, 2 family members passing, 2 moves, 15 years of education, 2 trips to europe and 1 trip to Nepal. These are but a few diverse experiences I have shaped me and I have kept with me into my adult life.

Yes my adult life. I can officially call myself an adult. Admitting that I am a full fledged adult has been a confusing journey. Possibly this stems from the fact that there are multiple definitions of what an adult consists of.

According to a quick search on google, an adult is defined by a person who is fully grown or developed. Physically, yes I have to agree, I have not grown an inch since the 11th grade. However this definition still doesn’t capture the essence of becoming or being an adult. No one is fully intellectually developed, and if they think they are… they are wrong. Living in today’s society, our views are constantly challenged, people do things that make us think differently, technology forces us to exercise new ways to connect and relate to one another every week. Look at my grandmother, the easiest way to reach her is on Facebook.

People grow, and people learn.

Here is my own definition:

Adult: A person who has come to understand that they are members of many different units, societies, and systems that are functioning simultaneously. This person recognizes that their actions have consequences and ramifications on lives outside their own.

Yes. That is a long winded definition for a seemingly simple concept.

No. There is no one event that transforms a child to an adult.

So when did I become an adult?

The easiest and most logical argument for many of us would be that going to college creates and instills enough independence to become an adult. I have to argue that adults and independent people are not the same. There are some adults that are both physically and emotionally dependent on others and there are some children that I have nannied that can take better care of themselves than I can take care of myself. Yes, college (supposedly) creates independents, but not necessarily adults. Many college students are not adults in my eyes. They do not recognize the impact that their everyday actions and fail to connect the problems that they encounter everyday on a systemic level. There are many people who are better at being adult because they did NOT go to college. College has created another private bubble for many of us, myself included, to wander intellectually but never experience other people’s diverse lives and experience.

To truly be an adult, one has to make the classic aristotle vs copernicus switch. An adult sees themselves as an active connected member in the mess of our society.

If it wasn’t moving thousands of miles away than what was it?

One does not become an adult over night. Instead it was a lengthy list of experiences that forced me to recognize my own identities, and take control of my own position in relation to others in society.

It was deciding that I was no longer pre-med and saw that my own skills would be better invested somewhere else.

It was forcing myself to cut some people out of my life because of how they treated me and how they encouraged stagnation instead of progress.

It was correcting someone when they said something extremely sexist and not feeling bad about it at all.

It was coming to NYC and participating in this program. No other experience has challenged me to think multi-dimensionally, multi-laterally and further than, “it’s because of the patriarchy.” I have met amazingly smart, witty, intellectual women who have challenged what I thought I knew to be true.

When did I know?

When I realized I truly loved listening to NPR.

me when listening to NPR

My entire childhood, I would complain  that NPR was playing on the way to school. Now, reading the newspaper, listening to NPR, and watching the nightly news has become both a habit and enjoyable past time. This love makes perfect sense. I have found a way to learn more about the systems that I am part of and how they are changing each day. As an adult, I feel a responsibility to understand and think about the issues affecting my community and society.

All of these experiences have allowed me to transition from an angsty teen to a self-proclaimed adult. Becoming an adult was not an easy thing to do. It required many failed attempts, many fights with my father, and many moments of uncomfortable unsureness. Like anything in life, adulthood comes with both drawbacks and benefits. No one is going to believe that you are actually asleep in the back of the car, and bring you to your bed. But as an adult, you can advocate for your beliefs in small and big ways, help your friends and family members on their own life paths, and live with a fierce intentionality that reflect your beliefs. Adulthood brings with it the challenge and ability to constantly change, develop, explore, think, and act.

It think it is a challenge I accept.