BitterSweet Endings

As my mom, brother and I took a quick stop into the shops on 5th Ave and strolled through the Union Square market I had a mixture of emotions once again.  We are still in NYC, still within a 5-block radius of where I had called home for the past 2 months, but everything was now over.

Sanctuary was no longer my home, everyday 10 – 5.

Keys and Card were turned in.

Rooms were empty.

10 Moxie girls had come…

and now they were gone.

Bittersweet can be defined as “pleasant but including elements of suffering”… this depicts my feeling about most endings…but especially Moxie.

The Sweet part: The past 8 weeks have been EXHAUSTING but in a very good way.  I was pushed mentally (Moxie discussions and personal reflections), physically (double workouts, full workdays, 6:30am wake-up calls for pt), and emotionally (personal discussions with the Moxie girls, working out anxieties for the future, and discovering realistic responsibilities for myself within the movement once Moxie was behind me).  Therefore, an end to Moxie looked positive and pleasant in many ways. I could let my mind rest for a little while, focus on my running, and spend some time with my family before having to go back to school.  All good things…right?

But then again the conclusion was so abrupt, upsetting, confusing and made me uneasy.

The Bitter part: Hadn’t we just gotten here, had our first dinner at Anna Marie’s, prepared for our first day of work and were introduced to all of the interesting people, activities and ideas that we were going to be exposed to this summer? Where did the time go? I was not ready to leave the relationships I had just forged, the friends I was just starting to get to know, and the city that revealed a new adventure to me each day with many places still left a mystery.

newbeginning

Although I am saddened, midway through this blog I had a change of heart! Moxie is over, but hey! These bitter parts can be made sweet!! I will always have the memories and influence that these 9 amazing, diverse, passionate, outspoken, driven young women had on me. I will still have the plethora of knowledge of women and their continued struggles to create social change and to achieve a voice and presence in leadership positions, and society in general for that matter. And I will still have the experience I have gained from dipping my foot into the water of the professional world.

Thank you to my Development Family at Sanctuary – Lisa, Susan, Emily, Jin, Johnny, Sasha, Kaitlin, John, Laura and Claire (can’t forget my fellow interns :D).

Thank You to Ada, and Anna Marie, for constantly providing me feedback and pushing me each week to reflect and develop my interpersonal skills.  I am not sure if you both realize how much I appreciate the time you took to respond to my reflections, as well as how much you cared about my personal growth.

Life is moving on. Now it is my turn to give back; to use Moxie as a new beginning, to use my experiences as inspiration, and to use my long-held, but now renewed passions, to guide my way.

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