The DUMB clarinet section, while not being the loudest, is one of the most close knit sections in the band. Consistently having high section attendance, clarinet players seem to always be there. At every nonmandatory event, the clarinet section can be relied on to have a good showing. What they lack for in sound, they make up for in energy. Usually being one of the larger sections in the band, they have continuously grown over the past few years. You could even say, that the clarinets are slowly taking over the band. Soon their numbers will expand enough that they will take control of the band, and all brass players will bow before them. They lie in waiting until their numbers are strong enough, waiting for the perfect moment to attack, like velociraptors zeroing in on their prey. New, power barrels provided to them aid in their quest for DUMB domination. These barrels mysteriously enhance their sound, and the clarinets can now occasionally be heard over the brass section. Do not let the innocent exterior fool you, this clarinet section will one day rule the world.
You can catch yourself on ESPN because who doesn’t love the Duke Clarinet Section!