At the halfway point

Now, at the halfway point of my Duke Engage experience, I am compelled to swap my relatively political blog posts in favor of a more personal reflection on my time here. While there is still a lot of time left for things to change (as I anticipate), I know I am already not the same person who stepped off the plane in Johannesburg a month ago.

When I left for this trip, I was expecting to primarily serve an organization with needs I could fulfill. And while the exposure to legislative processes I am receiving here (as well as pre-professional guidance) span beyond my imagination, I’ve also learned a thing or two about myself and what motivates me.

Living in a group with eleven other students, all of whom I did not know before this program has been a certainly telling experience and I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn from this diverse group of history, religion, cultural anthropology, international comparative studies, public policy, political science, computer science and visual media studies students. That said, there’s nothing like almost perpetual interactions with people you would not for the most part interact with at Duke, to reveal what you value in others.

Though outside of this particular context we are able to use discretion in our choice of people we surround ourselves with, here our program cohort was inserted into a close-knit environment. As a result, I’ve personally been questioning the relationships I have with people and realizing the importance of surrounding myself with those who never tear down but can always challenge and grow with me.

Here, I find myself in intellectual debates on everything from the multiple faces of gentrification, to the merits of a solely economic-class-based system of affirmative action, to the challenges of modern student activists and more. After seeing how refined and nuanced my worldview can become over just an hour sitting on my bed surrounded by some incredibly knowledgeable peers, I will definitely explore new similar outlets at Duke, both formally and (more importantly) informally in future social circles.

Thanks to this group, the museums we’ve visited, the experts and speakers I’ve been honored to hear from and speak with, my internship, and the distance separating me from all that is familiar to me, I have truly learned a lot. Never in my life have I ever spent so much time reflecting, and consequently, my Duke Engage experience has been especially fulfilling:

I’ve learned about the various definitions of what it means to be “born free” in South Africa in a time now characterized by some as an “economic apartheid.” But I’ve also learned about how prosperous and invigorating this country is, from the multicultural and historically rich District 6 Township to modern day art exhibits on display at the Iziko South African National Gallery.

I’ve learned about how my curt jokes and seemingly serious demeanor can unintentionally create a barrier between others and myself. But I’ve also learned to appreciate and stay true to myself, because not everyone can like you.

I’ve learned to question systems I’ve grown up accustomed to, namely democracy and capitalism, and the inequities they can perpetuate. But I’ve also learned (thanks to one Marxist co-worker in particular) that I shouldn’t immediately dismiss non-democratic governmental systems.

I’ve learned about how refreshing it is to be surrounded with different political opinions and perspectives. But I’ve also learned about how twisted, frustrating and socially polarizing political plurality can be.

I’ve learned about the history of Apartheid and the stories of Steve Biko, Hector Pieterson, Dennis Goldberg, Walter Sisulu, Winnie Mandela and others—heroes who made grave sacrifices for the country I am privileged to be in today. But I’ve also learned about how despite South Africa’s progressive constitution, its application is troubling, and how South African youth are the ones pioneering a new wave of activism to address the same systems that thrived during Apartheid.

I’ve learned about how fundamental it is for my sanity and sense of self-efficacy to organize and schedule meals and outings for myself in advance, through meticulously designed calendars and timetables. But I’ve also learned about how rewarding it can be to aimlessly meander through the streets of Cape Town, spontaneously talk politics to a South African, and even ask questions when approached for money.

I’ve learned about the grave prevalence of hate crimes in South Africa, which have more recently taken the form of xenophobic violence against foreign nationals/expats and violence against members of the LGBTQI+ community (specifically through “corrective rapes”). And I’ve learned about the contentiousness of hate speech criminalization and the powerful impact non-governmental organizations can have in pressuring the government to create and refine adequate legislation, such as the impending “National Action Plan to combat Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance” that I have been working closely with.

I’ve learned about how some school students here can make insightful comments on American politics and culture, though the same cannot be said of American students on South Africa’s political and social scenes. And I’ve learned about how students here are fighting against an education system that is selling them whitewashed narratives of their own country’s political, economic, and social histories.

I’ve learned that I should continue to decry racism when three teenagers point to a friend and laugh “China! China!” And when even their guardians don’t seem responsive, I’ve learned that I should follow up because prejudice is learned (and can therefore be unlearned), and any action that I take is better than one more second of silence.

I’ve learned about how uncomfortable I can be when, in a city where for the most part non-blacks are the wealthy ones who live luxuriously and the lower socio-economic class is nearly unanimously black, I am one of a handful of blacks who get to benefit from a system created to oppress us. And I’ve also learned about the futility and antiquity of “white guilt”— a narcissistic state of ignorance that is offensively useless in the everlasting plight for racial equality.

I’ve learned about the qualities I value in friendship, how quality always trumps quantity, and how I grow the most when surrounded by people who appreciate diversity. And I’ve also learned that if I always take the role of conversation instigator, I am simply wasting my time.

I’ve learned about my formerly dubious passion for law and it’s practice from a top-down approach to address inequality and evoke change. And I’ve also learned about the beauty in succinct language in the professional world, the hectic chaos in the world of non-profit organizations, and the cracks through which victims often slip through as law firms pursue impact legislation.

I’ve learned that Cape Town is an intrinsically unrepresentative bubble of the Western world plopped down in South Africa. And I’ve also learned that Cape Town is a microcosm of Durham in the shared issues of gentrification, poverty, racially defined socio-economic divides, and more.

I’ve learned about how I have every right to voice my opinion and share my input, especially in conversations to which I am not keen to, because argumentation is a learning process. And I’ve learned that whenever that input isn’t respected, it is not my responsibility to educate the obdurate.

Seeing the expansive nature of what I have learned thus far, I cannot even imagine what is to come in my remaining time here. A sincere thank you to everyone who got me here this far!