It’s tempting to try to do too much when you 1. Care and 2. Think you have something to offer. Last year, I worked with a community college student named Mohammed. Mohammed was tackling various challenges, from planning for his move to a university to doing homework for Chemistry class. As a Duke student and Chemistry enthusiast, I thought I could be helpful on these two. So, I tried to dedicate much of our Lab-time to them.

Mohammed would not have it. He told me, “You can look at my Chem homework, but if you try to teach me, I’m shutting the computer off.” He would resist when I’d mention how choosing a major you enjoy can make a difference.

Mohammed taught me that just because we could work on something together didn’t mean we should. With some things, like talking about college, it’s still worth it to press him a little. But, instead of doing homework, our time was best used for things he wouldn’t get anywhere else, like talking about his life in the Middle East or laughing over Saudi Youtube videos.

When you have only a short time with a student, you need to be selective, thinking not about what you want to help with, but what you both decide can have the most impact. Often, these are the unique things your relationship supports.

--John Benhart