Post Secret and “meaningful” relationships

By Linda Yi On April 28, 2012 · Leave a Comment · In Reflection, Twitter digests

Twitter Updates for 2012-04-28

TED talk from the founder of “post secret”. Kindness of strangers with a dash of transendence http://t.co/8501WHgs #TED #
“We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey.” http://t.co/jR0gZ2AU #

Thoughts and musings:

I went back to Frank Warren’s TED talk (about his Post Secret Project) to pull out a few things that had struck me. I ended up reading the comments instead. Below is one of the “secrets” that Frank chose to present at the conference:

Here were some comments to the talk that made me stop:

“Some ways I find this quite sad, in that we have become so, so, dependent on technology, that we need to or find it easier somehow to share thing with strangers, because we don’t have, or have lost the ability to talk to our friends and family or make new ones, and don’t feel that people care and are not willing to take and make time for you. (like the suicide note).

The thing though that I find saddest, was the grandmother, singing a song over a telephone, it really speaks volumes, on how we’re being to lose human interaction, with those we hold dearest.” - Steven Why

“Right to the point in this part of the world. For someone who needs or is seeking the connection it can be quite a scare if s/he is not lucky. Hope by spreading the news more and more people [are] able to wake up to their conscience and create the chance or environment for themselves to get the kind of connection they deserve, desire and bravely “go” after.” - Teddia Ted

” Steven, I see it quite the opposite [...] And the suicide note is extremely happy! A person who has chosen not only that they’ll not burden the ones they love with the guilt they would bear if they offed themselves, but they’ll not even burden them with the thought that it almost happened, and chose only to tell a stranger, who did not love them dearly, instead. I think that is beautiful and very loving.” - Sondra Sneed

“[...] Rather like the suicide note you mention, you see, I don’t see that if any ‘real’ loved one of mine were to tell me that they had written a suicide note, that as you put it, ‘would be a burden’.If one does consider that a burden, ‘even if it almost happen’, then how can you really know, and love, and share, or be with the person[?] You have to accept the person faults, warts, depression, love, happiness, suicide notes and all, and that person you love has to know that, only then can you make a real meaningful and lasting connection with their soul.And that above paragraph is what technology can -never- replace.” - Steven Why

… Is it really the proliferation of technology that has taken away our ability to form what Steve describes as true, meaningful human connections with those who are closest to us? Are those who are closest to us always the ones that we feel comfortable sharing everything with? ( And, as a side question, how do we define “close” anyway? Close in physical proximity?) Why is it that I can sometimes sometimes have long, intimate conversations with complete strangers – yet struggle to tap into that experience with my own family (and sometimes friends)?

Perhaps it’s a fear of loss. It’s a story of incomplete growth – and an uncertainty of whether or not my peers have grown with me. A stranger’s rejection doesn’t hurt (or rather doesn’t hurt as much). Up until that one moment of interaction, there is no shared history between the stranger and I. If something wonderful grows out of that moment of interaction – all the better. If not – well – my rational mind tells me that in a zero-risk investment, at least I haven’t lost anything.

It’s getting to that time when I am about to begin a new chapter in my life. I think it’s only natural to think about the relationships I’ve made up to this point. How many have I fed and nourished? How many have I neglected to foster? How many can/should/be (will)ing to rekindle?